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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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Here at Magic Motors,
we make high prices disappear.
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MAX: Prices disappear.
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They're not disappearing.
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- [ALARM BEEPS]
- [THUDS]
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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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[GRUNTS]
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♪ Have you ever been close
To tragedy
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♪ Or been close to
Folks who have
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♪ Have you ever felt a
Pain so powerful
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♪ So heavy you collapse
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♪ No? Well...
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♪ I've never had to
Knock on wood
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♪ But I know someone who has
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♪ Which makes me
Wonder if I could
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♪ It makes me wonder if
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♪ I've never had to
Knock on wood
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♪ And I'm glad I haven't yet
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♪ Because I'm sure
It isn't good
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♪ That's the impression
That I get
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♪ I've never had to
Knock on wood
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♪ But I know someone who has
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♪ Which makes me wonder
If I could
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♪ It makes me wonder if
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♪ I've never had to
Knock on wood
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♪ And I'm glad I haven't yet
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♪ Because I'm sure
It isn't good
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♪ That's the impression
That I get ♪
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[TIRE SCREECHING]
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♪ Never had to
But I better knock on wood
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♪ 'Cause I know someone who has
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♪ Which makes me wonder
If I could
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♪ It makes me wonder if I
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♪ Never had to
But I better knock on wood
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♪ Because I'm sure
It isn't good
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♪ And I'm glad I haven't yet
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♪ That's the impression... ♪
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Oh, he's coming!
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[MUTTERING]
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All right, you clowns, gather around
here, I wanna talk to you.
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I've got cars out there
gathering dust people!
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Now you stiffs have got to get John Q and
Jane Q's signatures on these contracts.
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And then you turn your
attention to the other lollipops
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that are coming onto the lot.
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Mr. Grismer,
some of them just want to look.
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Want to look?
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People come on this lot because they
prefer to drive, rather than walk.
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Now your job is to
sell from the heart.
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From the gut.
If you're not prepared to do that,
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then you can get your
low-production butt off my lot
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and make room
for somebody who is.
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Now, get out there and shove
those cars down their throats
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before I really blow a gasket!
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[GRUNTS]
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Somebody bring me
some hot coffee.
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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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Oh. Hi, little girl.
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Would you like to see
a magic trick?
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Can you make yourself
disappear?
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As soon as happy hour gets here.
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My dad says you probably
didn't go to college.
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My dad sells Cryptocurrency.
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Well, I sell wonder and amazement
under the guise of used car sales.
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He says in five years,
you'll be homeless.
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Well, that'd be a step up.
Now, beat it, kid,
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before I turn your freckles
into liver spots.
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[GRUNTS]
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I hear your attitude was
lousy out there today.
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Yeah, You know,
I think the smell of
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baby puke might have weakened
my charming personality.
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You're paid to entertain,
not depress everybody.
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I bring the stiffs in Grismer.
You know what?
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Sometimes I think you forget...
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- who needs who.
- [GRISMER LAUGHS]
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Pitchmen are a dime a dozen, and your
tricks are putting people to sleep.
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It's only a matter of time until your
dime-store magic isn't needed around here.
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And there'll come a time
when I land the big trick,
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people lined up around the block
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and you...
you begging me to stay.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Well, until that day happens
or until hell freezes over,
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you better shape up or ship out.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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I don't know how much
more of this I can take, Mike.
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Grismer?
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- I need a new job.
- Me too.
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You're too good for this place.
You should open your own shop.
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With what money?
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You're wasting your prime years, Mike...
on Grismer. Think about it.
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You are, too.
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Yes, but only physically.
Not my soaring soul.
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There's no magic here.
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[ANNOUNCEMENT ON RADIO]
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Hey, Max.
Just waiting for backup.
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Doing okay there, buddy?
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[SIGHS] Yeah, why do you ask?
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Well, it seems your friend
Vinnie is at it again.
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No, no, no. He's actually more of
a neighborly acquaintance, Carl.
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When he isn't blasted,
Vinnie is the kind of guy who
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makes death wishes before he
blows out his birthday candles.
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Wait, how often do you deal with
suicidal situations?
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Every morning.
Right before I walk into work.
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- VINNIE: Is that you, Max?
- Yeah.
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- [CAT MEOWING]
- Yeah, me and
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three news crews
down the street.
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You're getting more press
than I am, Vinnie.
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I lost my job, Max.
I'm a failure!
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Yeah. Of course you are.
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- You've been drinking?
- No.
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- Why the hell not?
- I hate the world, Max!
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What's to hate, Vinnie?
You never leave your house.
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I should just hang myself
and get it over with.
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You'd look like a human pinata.
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- Hold on.
- I don't know if I can, Max.
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MAX: Kill me, please.
I want to die.
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- Oh, God.
- Hey! I haven't read that yet!
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It's the morning paper, Ralph.
It's five o'clock in the afternoon.
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Let me guess, Vinnie. Will you tell
him to just end it already, you?
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Yeah. I'll relay your
kind thoughts.
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Hey, Max. I want the
crossword section.
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Try and keep that commotion down.
I'm tired of that no-good bum.
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Your a humanitarian, Ralph,
did you know that?
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Okay, Vinnie.
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Guy with your looks is...
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- probably good with his hands.
- Yeah.
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A little shaky right now,
though.
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Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
How about a maintenance job?
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I did fix your toaster
a few weeks back.
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Yeah. Yeah, It burns real good
on one side right now.
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You know, Vinnie, why don't you try
looking on the brighter side, huh?
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Remember, I once complained
about a hole in my shoe
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until I met a man
with no feet. Hmm?
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What does that mean?
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It means, Vinnie,
people got it worse than you.
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I know a guy,
works a nowhere job.
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No purpose in his life.
Drinks way too much.
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His father thinks he's a loser.
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He only has one friend
in the whole world.
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Can't even buy a date unless he
makes them his lovely assistant.
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Man! I'm glad
I'm not him, Max.
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He's just one signature trick
away from fame and fortune.
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Oh, so sad. Whoever this person
is, it made me appreciate my life.
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Who is this sorry excuse
for a human?
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I made him up!
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Vinnie.
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Go have a shot of scotch, huh?
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Then you draw a nice hot bath,
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with the bubbles
and the candles, like you like.
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Okay, Max,
you're a real good friend.
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Is that it? So now what?
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Now I go home
and try to figure out
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why skipping college
was a good idea.
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You know, I should probably take
him in this time, Max.
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If you don't, Carl, I'll do another
charity event for you guys. Huh?
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[FUNNY RINGTONE]
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This should be a really good ending
to a really, really good day.
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Excuse me. Hi, Mom.
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What? Mom, slow...
Mom, slow down...
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What?
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I'm sorry, Max.
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I know you and your brother
weren't that close, but still,
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- I'm really sorry.
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
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Shot out of the womb.
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Different directions,
then never came full circle.
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It's sad.
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Plane crash,
I can't believe it.
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He was with his wife, too.
I mean, the whole thing. It's just awful.
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- Beer me.
- Bet your dad is taking this hard, talking about life
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just turning on a dime.
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- Ole!
- [MAN LAUGHS FROM BEHIND]
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- How's he doing?
- Not good.
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But, I mean,
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I'm pretty sure he wants to stick
around long enough to watch me
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totally fail. So that's good.
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But, Timmy, my nephew.
No one to come home to for dinner.
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No one to say, "Hello, Tim."
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How was your day, dear?
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When was last time you saw him?
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He was seven, eight...
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- He's 10 now.
- Who gets 'em?
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00:11:14,308 --> 00:11:17,011
Ah, can't be my parents.
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Dad's too sick.
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Mom couldn't handle pre-teen
hormones 25 years ago.
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This right here is the
result of that.
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So that's gonna fall
on my shoulders, the kid.
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- Can you handle that?
- No. No.
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I don't like humans.
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Much less ones under 18.
Now I gotta live with him.
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- But he's blood.
- MAN: To family, Max.
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He's blood.
And so I'll grind it out.
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- Max, the good uncle.
- The good Scotch.
192
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Have you ever had like
the worst day of your life?
193
00:11:56,518 --> 00:11:59,453
I guarantee you, it isn't
as bad as the one I'm having.
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00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:02,056
Me. I lost everything.
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00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,458
- All at once.
- Hey, Tim.
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00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,995
Your long-lost Uncle Max.
197
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:12,132
Remember me? Famous magician.
198
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,970
I got all those television
car commercials.
199
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:19,340
I sent you that autographed headshot
for your birthday last year.
200
00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:23,978
You remember that? Or was it...
Maybe it was two years ago.
201
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,145
Uh...
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00:12:26,548 --> 00:12:30,117
I guess we share
the same DNA, you know?
203
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,353
So I'm gonna be the one
that has to take care of you.
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00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,756
Not really qualified to be
a parent.
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00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:40,894
Or a human being,
for that matter.
206
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,864
I mean, I'm still trying to
figure out my own life.
207
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,766
You know, what do I want?
Who am I?
208
00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:51,438
Working in a soul-sucking
dead-end job?
209
00:12:51,472 --> 00:12:53,874
I mean, I'm paycheck
to paycheck.
210
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,277
Just scraping by.
No insurance.
211
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,548
Oh, and my girlfriend just
broke up with me,
212
00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:02,783
after two and a half weeks.
You believe that?
213
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,854
Said she'd rather date a clown.
214
00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:11,458
Hurts. It hurts, you know?
215
00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:19,266
Anyway, I feel a little
better now.
216
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:23,103
Thanks for listening.
You feel better too?
217
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,243
I've seen your magic on TV.
218
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,045
Why can't you
bring back my parents?
219
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,984
I'm sorry.
220
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,586
There's only one guy
who knows that trick.
221
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,923
You can forget about me living
with you.
222
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:46,293
Tim. Oh... This is...
This is gonna really be great.
223
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,297
Oh, honey.
224
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:52,499
You say that I can't live in
my house
225
00:13:52,534 --> 00:13:55,035
because you have sell it to
the bank or whatever.
226
00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:57,639
So why can't I live with you?
227
00:13:57,672 --> 00:14:03,410
Oh, honey, your grandpa Lyle and I
would love to have you live with us.
228
00:14:03,444 --> 00:14:07,047
But he's not well now.
229
00:14:07,081 --> 00:14:09,517
Tim, Grandpa is going
to start on some medicine
230
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,318
that's gonna make
him really sick.
231
00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:13,655
- They can't do it.
- [TIM SOBBING]
232
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:16,357
- Oh, I love you.
- I miss them.
233
00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:23,197
Now? Really?
234
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,905
- This is not gonna work.
- Leave it to your mommy.
235
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:34,942
She could talk the devil
into buying a Bible. [COUGHS]
236
00:14:37,478 --> 00:14:42,550
Maybe you ought to give up this
cheap vaudeville stuff, huh?
237
00:14:42,584 --> 00:14:48,556
Get a real job, like your brother.
He had responsibility.
238
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:50,658
Something you don't know
anything about.
239
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,161
Oh...
240
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:08,442
Hubba hubba.
241
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:12,547
Too soon?
242
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,588
All right.
243
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:26,126
What do you think?
244
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,363
I hate it.
245
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,298
I hate wearing
that stupid thing.
246
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,434
Nope. No. No.
247
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:38,038
Look, let's just give this
a try, all right?
248
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,707
Let me show you your room.
249
00:15:39,741 --> 00:15:44,011
Maybe you'll like it.
I doubt it, but maybe.
250
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:48,716
Yep. Go down the hall.
251
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,486
Nope. Left.
252
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:01,995
Huh? What do you think?
253
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:06,433
I mean, I know
it's a little plain but,
254
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:08,335
that could work out
to your advantage, right?
255
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,137
You can pick your
own curtains,
256
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,507
pick your own bedspread.
257
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,576
Put posters up.
258
00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:17,110
I used to have one
right over my bed. Every night...
259
00:16:19,547 --> 00:16:21,749
We'll keep 'em PG-13, though.
Okay?
260
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,119
All right. I'm gonna
leave you to it.
261
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,423
Lights out at 10:00. Don't try to
climb out the bedroom window, okay?
262
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,258
My neighbor Vinnie has
a Rottweiler out there,
263
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,327
and he roams the streets.
264
00:16:36,798 --> 00:16:38,031
This is so hard.
265
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:41,569
You lost your dad.
I lost my brother.
266
00:16:41,603 --> 00:16:43,337
And now we're
just sort of stuck together.
267
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,108
I gotta be honest.
I don't know what to do.
268
00:16:50,578 --> 00:16:52,680
What would your dad do
in a situation like this?
269
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,318
He'd give me a hug and say
everything would be all right.
270
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:08,095
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.
Let's do that. Come here.
271
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:12,800
Bring it in.
There you go, Timmy.
272
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:17,371
Just let those tears fly.
Everything's gonna be...
273
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,242
Okay. Good night.
274
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,082
[GRUNTING]
275
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,706
[SCREAMS]
276
00:18:34,949 --> 00:18:37,184
Tim, I got some break...
277
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:52,567
[EXHALES]
Teach that kid a learnin'.
278
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,805
Figure out there's one
boss in this house.
279
00:18:59,874 --> 00:19:02,142
We'll see when Max attacks, man.
280
00:19:05,947 --> 00:19:07,481
Well played.
281
00:19:13,588 --> 00:19:14,756
I don't care.
282
00:19:33,641 --> 00:19:39,580
You don't get it in the first 50 takes
this time, I'm dubbing your voice.
283
00:19:39,614 --> 00:19:41,683
Did you know you had a gift
for encouragement?
284
00:19:43,584 --> 00:19:46,554
- How's your, um...
- Nephew?
285
00:19:46,587 --> 00:19:49,322
He's fine. Come on,
you've seen me with the kids.
286
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,259
- They love me.
- Right.
287
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:58,432
Isn't it illegal to leave a 10-year-old
kid alone by himself all day?
288
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:02,737
I tied him to a chair until my next
door neighbor could come watch him.
289
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:06,339
- How are the hemorrhoids?
- DIRECTOR: Quiet on the set.
290
00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:09,877
Are we ready?
291
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:11,913
Roll it.
292
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:20,588
Here at Magic Motors,
we make high prices disappear.
293
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,255
DIRECTOR: Cut. Cut.
294
00:20:25,026 --> 00:20:26,661
[DOOR CREAKING]
295
00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:31,431
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
296
00:20:31,465 --> 00:20:33,601
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]
297
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,771
Tim, I got you a burger, man.
Come get it.
298
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:16,043
Dinner of champions, buddy.
299
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:23,885
Uh-oh, how'd that happen?
300
00:21:23,918 --> 00:21:25,853
I guess we'll just have
to eat together, huh?
301
00:21:35,062 --> 00:21:38,833
MAX: Or not. Oh, cool.
302
00:21:46,841 --> 00:21:49,110
That kid is smart.
303
00:21:49,143 --> 00:21:54,414
♪ Darling, you send me
304
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:58,719
♪ I know you send me
305
00:21:59,821 --> 00:22:03,991
♪ Darling, you send me
306
00:22:04,025 --> 00:22:07,929
♪ Honest you do, honest
Honest you do
307
00:22:12,099 --> 00:22:16,403
♪ Whoa
Whenever I'm with you... ♪
308
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:18,471
You see anything you like?
309
00:22:18,506 --> 00:22:20,808
Some of these cars
are antiques.
310
00:22:20,842 --> 00:22:22,076
[CHUCKLES]
311
00:22:22,109 --> 00:22:24,579
Well, that's a kinder way
of putting it.
312
00:22:24,612 --> 00:22:27,648
I'd like to buy
something from this century.
313
00:22:27,682 --> 00:22:31,719
Well, you know, they knock off
10 bucks for every dent you find.
314
00:22:31,752 --> 00:22:34,856
- [THUDS]
- Oops. [SHUSHING]
315
00:22:36,891 --> 00:22:40,561
Do all of the salesmen
wear magician outfits?
316
00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:43,998
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
317
00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:45,933
I'm not a salesman.
318
00:22:45,967 --> 00:22:48,135
I'm actually the
headliner here.
319
00:22:48,169 --> 00:22:52,673
Yeah, you know, the guy who does all
the charming television commercials,
320
00:22:52,707 --> 00:22:54,876
who everyone comes to see.
321
00:22:54,909 --> 00:22:59,479
But I'm really just biding my time
for the love of the kids. I love kids,
322
00:22:59,513 --> 00:23:02,717
and, uh, yeah,
cracking the code.
323
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:05,152
Oh, and what code is that?
324
00:23:05,186 --> 00:23:07,822
The ultimate magic trick code.
325
00:23:07,855 --> 00:23:13,027
Think about it. Did anyone know David Copperfield
before he made the Statue of Liberty disappear?
326
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:16,831
Before he levitated over the
Grand Canyon?
327
00:23:16,864 --> 00:23:19,567
Yeah, I think he was
pretty famous before that.
328
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,204
Exactly. You know, I...
329
00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:25,573
I've been thinking
about a new trick.
330
00:23:27,508 --> 00:23:29,143
I could use a new,
lovely assistant.
331
00:23:29,176 --> 00:23:30,611
[CHUCKLES]
332
00:23:30,645 --> 00:23:32,479
Now, that sounds like a line.
333
00:23:33,581 --> 00:23:36,183
Did it work?
334
00:23:36,217 --> 00:23:39,086
I have a job, but
thanks for the offer.
335
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,755
DIRECTOR: We're ready for you,
Max.
336
00:23:40,788 --> 00:23:43,958
Oh, oh, oh.
They need me... the talent.
337
00:23:43,991 --> 00:23:48,529
Probably another close up.
Very little makeup, by the way.
338
00:23:48,562 --> 00:23:50,698
Anyway, you keep...
You keep trucking.
339
00:23:50,731 --> 00:23:52,033
Yeah, thank you.
340
00:23:52,066 --> 00:23:54,635
That's Frank "the Tank"
from Old School.
341
00:23:54,669 --> 00:23:56,971
- Yeah, ciao.
- Bye.
342
00:23:57,672 --> 00:24:00,875
[HUMMING]
343
00:24:00,908 --> 00:24:04,145
See, you don't have
to do my dishes.
344
00:24:04,178 --> 00:24:06,446
- It's my pleasure, Max.
- Thank you.
345
00:24:08,182 --> 00:24:10,851
- How's Tim?
- Oh, he's fine.
346
00:24:10,885 --> 00:24:12,987
Mmm. He's a nice young man.
347
00:24:13,020 --> 00:24:15,589
- Yeah.
- Very quiet. But,
348
00:24:15,623 --> 00:24:18,659
then that's to be expected,
considering.
349
00:24:18,693 --> 00:24:21,762
Yeah, considering he was downgraded
to "Little Orphan" Timmy.
350
00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:24,899
I remember him as a loud voice
with a body.
351
00:24:24,932 --> 00:24:27,635
Now he's like
a closed clam in concrete.
352
00:24:27,668 --> 00:24:30,504
Give him time.
He's grieving, Max.
353
00:24:32,239 --> 00:24:35,176
Well, bills.
354
00:24:35,209 --> 00:24:38,846
I found out that his dad left me
$33,000 in his will,
355
00:24:38,879 --> 00:24:40,147
and he left the kids
some money in a trust.
356
00:24:40,181 --> 00:24:43,651
So it's not all bad news.
This is. Bill.
357
00:24:43,684 --> 00:24:46,120
- That was generous.
- Yeah. Yeah.
358
00:24:46,153 --> 00:24:48,956
I figure it...
It buys a little happiness.
359
00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:52,760
Max, you can't buy happiness.
Don't you know that?
360
00:24:52,793 --> 00:24:55,629
- Yeah, I got the bad credit.
- [CHUCKLES]
361
00:24:55,663 --> 00:24:57,832
Maybe I can lease it, right?
362
00:25:01,936 --> 00:25:03,104
What is this?
363
00:25:05,606 --> 00:25:09,310
Nice try, kid. You forget that
I'm a magician?
364
00:25:09,343 --> 00:25:12,113
I can spot a fake spider
miles away.
365
00:25:13,647 --> 00:25:17,852
Oh, fishing line.
That's pretty good.
366
00:25:19,086 --> 00:25:22,189
[SCREAMING]
367
00:25:22,223 --> 00:25:24,225
No.
368
00:25:24,258 --> 00:25:26,660
[PANICKING]
369
00:25:26,694 --> 00:25:29,930
Get off me. Get off me.
Spiders, spiders, spiders.
370
00:25:29,964 --> 00:25:31,132
[SCREAMS]
371
00:25:33,067 --> 00:25:35,536
- What's for breakfast?
- [COUGHS]
372
00:25:36,704 --> 00:25:37,872
Cookies.
373
00:25:39,106 --> 00:25:40,274
Cookies.
374
00:25:47,681 --> 00:25:49,784
Lame trick.
375
00:25:49,817 --> 00:25:52,086
Cookies are not
a nutritious meal.
376
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,089
Yeah, they are.
They really, really are.
377
00:25:55,122 --> 00:25:58,859
You crumble them up. You put 'em in a bowl.
You put a little milk in it.
378
00:25:58,893 --> 00:26:02,196
All right, we don't have milk.
Look at the bowl.
379
00:26:04,131 --> 00:26:06,033
I mean, that's what cereal is.
380
00:26:06,067 --> 00:26:07,768
It's... It's... cookies.
381
00:26:07,802 --> 00:26:10,304
What 10-year-old doesn't like
cookies for breakfast?
382
00:26:10,337 --> 00:26:12,673
One that wants to see 11.
383
00:26:15,676 --> 00:26:18,913
Mrs. C is gonna be here soon,
try not to kill her.
384
00:26:18,946 --> 00:26:20,648
Can we get a dog?
385
00:26:20,681 --> 00:26:22,917
It's supposed to
help with grief.
386
00:26:22,950 --> 00:26:26,921
Nice try. I'm still trying to
get the whole kid thing down.
387
00:26:26,954 --> 00:26:30,091
I mean, I gotta figure out.
Do you eat too much?
388
00:26:30,124 --> 00:26:34,061
- If you need shots.
- If I'm potty trained?
389
00:26:36,730 --> 00:26:38,032
- Are you?
- Yes. I know
390
00:26:38,065 --> 00:26:39,400
how to pee in a toilet.
391
00:26:39,433 --> 00:26:41,669
Look, can we just try to
get through this week?
392
00:26:41,702 --> 00:26:44,105
Then we can talk about adoption.
All right?
393
00:26:44,138 --> 00:26:45,806
Pet or person?
394
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,342
Because I have no interest
in a sibling.
395
00:26:48,375 --> 00:26:50,811
- Especially a sister...
- Tim.
396
00:26:52,046 --> 00:26:53,981
- How tall are you?
- Why?
397
00:26:54,014 --> 00:26:56,417
What do you think about a magician
that can cut a kid in half.
398
00:26:56,450 --> 00:26:57,985
An illusion.
399
00:26:59,420 --> 00:27:02,389
Yeah, sure. An illusion. Okay.
400
00:27:02,423 --> 00:27:04,625
I think it's been done.
401
00:27:06,093 --> 00:27:08,162
You're right.
402
00:27:08,195 --> 00:27:10,397
Why don't you get
a good cavity started, huh?
403
00:27:10,431 --> 00:27:12,833
Try not to break anything.
404
00:27:12,867 --> 00:27:14,902
I'll be home after work.
405
00:27:17,805 --> 00:27:20,007
MAN: And here are the keys
to your new car.
406
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,742
- Thank you.
- Now, when it breaks down...
407
00:27:21,775 --> 00:27:24,778
If it breaks down,
be sure to call us.
408
00:27:24,812 --> 00:27:26,780
- Will do.
- Enjoy.
409
00:27:26,814 --> 00:27:30,951
Oh, hello. Oh, you
bought one of our cars.
410
00:27:30,985 --> 00:27:32,887
Got a decent deal.
411
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,822
Really?
412
00:27:34,855 --> 00:27:37,458
Well, you will be happy to know
that part of our policy here
413
00:27:37,491 --> 00:27:41,896
at Magic Motors is for
the charming magician...
414
00:27:41,929 --> 00:27:44,698
to provide lunch to all
of our new buyers.
415
00:27:44,732 --> 00:27:46,767
Except I don't do it
for everyone.
416
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,002
[LAUGHS]
417
00:27:48,035 --> 00:27:51,872
- Uh, well, thanks anyway.
- Oh, oh, oh.
418
00:27:51,906 --> 00:27:54,441
I think I see
what's happening here.
419
00:27:54,475 --> 00:28:00,214
I think the life of a magician must
seem unattainable to the lay person.
420
00:28:00,247 --> 00:28:03,918
Glamorous, uh, well,
magical.
421
00:28:03,951 --> 00:28:07,721
But I assure you,
underneath this cape,
422
00:28:07,755 --> 00:28:09,924
I'm really just
a regular guy.
423
00:28:09,957 --> 00:28:12,326
- I'm sure you are.
- Yup.
424
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,863
And I am really only in the
market for a car right now.
425
00:28:15,896 --> 00:28:19,033
I mean, do I have plenty
of other interests?
426
00:28:20,901 --> 00:28:25,439
Sure. Many goals and, well,
long-range plans.
427
00:28:25,472 --> 00:28:28,142
Like what?
428
00:28:28,175 --> 00:28:32,279
Like I said, there are so many.
How could I name just one.
429
00:28:32,313 --> 00:28:33,948
[MAX CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
430
00:28:35,482 --> 00:28:40,221
Surviving my nephew. Excuse me.
431
00:28:43,157 --> 00:28:44,959
- World peace.
- Really?
432
00:28:44,992 --> 00:28:46,727
- Yeah.
- Me, too.
433
00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:55,002
Well, congratulations on your new
car and I will see you for lunch.
434
00:28:55,035 --> 00:28:59,773
Impressive. I think the depth of
your character blew her mind.
435
00:28:59,807 --> 00:29:01,275
Shouldn't you be working?
436
00:29:01,308 --> 00:29:04,378
- I'm reading the paper.
- Really?
437
00:29:04,411 --> 00:29:06,413
When did you become
interested in world events?
438
00:29:06,447 --> 00:29:10,818
I'm not. I'm just checking the
obits, hoping to find your name,
439
00:29:15,122 --> 00:29:17,491
World peace?
440
00:29:17,525 --> 00:29:20,160
I couldn't think of a single
thing that I'm passionate about.
441
00:29:20,194 --> 00:29:22,162
Oh, come on.
442
00:29:22,196 --> 00:29:24,064
Have you ever seen anyone
choked to death?
443
00:29:24,098 --> 00:29:26,133
Like really choked to death,
even in the movies?
444
00:29:26,166 --> 00:29:28,869
Because that's what it was like.
445
00:29:28,902 --> 00:29:31,071
MIKE: So how's Tim?
446
00:29:31,105 --> 00:29:33,274
MAX: Makes Godzilla look
like a gecko.
447
00:29:33,307 --> 00:29:34,808
That bad?
448
00:29:34,842 --> 00:29:36,977
I think he's trying to
force my hand.
449
00:29:37,011 --> 00:29:39,246
I mean, he doesn't wanna
live with me. Who does?
450
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,382
MIKE: He probably
just feels alone.
451
00:29:41,415 --> 00:29:45,019
MAX: Amelia Earhart was alone.
Charles Lindbergh was alone.
452
00:29:45,052 --> 00:29:48,389
Those people that got stuck at the
top of Mount Olympus, they were alone.
453
00:29:48,422 --> 00:29:51,325
- It's Everest.
- Exactly.
454
00:29:51,358 --> 00:29:54,461
MAX: I'm getting hit in the face
by this parenthood like a brick.
455
00:29:54,495 --> 00:29:58,533
And I'm picking adolescent
shrapnel out of my body.
456
00:29:58,566 --> 00:30:01,435
Look, I'm gonna give him the
get-to-hate-me grace period,
457
00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:04,104
like I give everyone else
and, uh...
458
00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:07,308
I don't know,
throw some chores at him.
459
00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:10,244
What's chores?
460
00:30:10,277 --> 00:30:12,379
The ones I don't wanna do.
461
00:30:16,884 --> 00:30:20,187
♪ No, never, never, never
Let them go
462
00:30:20,220 --> 00:30:24,091
♪ Never, never, never
Let them go
463
00:30:24,124 --> 00:30:25,926
♪ Oh, let them go... ♪
464
00:30:28,929 --> 00:30:30,264
- Hi.
- First time here?
465
00:30:30,297 --> 00:30:32,199
Yeah, I just moved in
across the street.
466
00:30:32,232 --> 00:30:33,901
- Welcome to the town.
- Thank you.
467
00:30:33,934 --> 00:30:35,269
What can I get you?
468
00:30:35,302 --> 00:30:38,372
Um, can I get two scoops of
chocolate please?
469
00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:40,107
You got it.
470
00:30:41,241 --> 00:30:42,376
Is chocolate your favorite?
471
00:30:42,409 --> 00:30:45,045
Yeah. I like the
original flavors.
472
00:30:45,079 --> 00:30:47,948
I was gonna get vanilla
but I decided chocolate, so.
473
00:30:47,981 --> 00:30:49,283
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
474
00:30:53,921 --> 00:30:56,390
- [GROANS]
- GIRL: Oh, are you okay?
475
00:30:59,326 --> 00:31:01,862
- Here.
- Thanks.
476
00:31:02,963 --> 00:31:04,431
Can I buy
you another one?
477
00:31:04,465 --> 00:31:08,302
No, I think one of the scoops
got down my throat.
478
00:31:08,335 --> 00:31:12,039
I'm Brandi. You live at those
places near my house, right?
479
00:31:12,072 --> 00:31:14,174
Yeah. Tim.
I'd shake your hand,
480
00:31:14,208 --> 00:31:16,276
but you'd probably get
sticky handlebars.
481
00:31:16,310 --> 00:31:18,946
Thanks. I've got to go.
482
00:31:18,979 --> 00:31:21,081
But maybe I'll see you around.
483
00:31:21,115 --> 00:31:23,951
- Okay, cool.
- Bye.
484
00:31:41,402 --> 00:31:43,203
- MAX: Hello.
- What?
485
00:31:50,745 --> 00:31:56,350
I want to call a truce.
Okay, I surrender. Whatever it takes.
486
00:31:56,383 --> 00:32:01,021
You clearly have a future in espionage.
[CHUCKLES]
487
00:32:01,054 --> 00:32:03,223
You know, Tim, when I thought
about having a kid,
488
00:32:03,257 --> 00:32:05,325
I thought it would be a
baby crib and nursery rhymes,
489
00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:08,328
and I got an adult.
490
00:32:11,064 --> 00:32:12,567
I want you to have that.
491
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,468
That's my very first magic hat.
492
00:32:14,501 --> 00:32:18,138
Be careful with that.
Actually lost my virginity...
493
00:32:21,108 --> 00:32:25,713
Tim, when a man
loves another...
494
00:32:25,747 --> 00:32:27,715
Okay, I know what
virginity is.
495
00:32:27,749 --> 00:32:30,217
- You do. Good.
- Sure, okay.
496
00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:31,586
Okay.
497
00:32:34,455 --> 00:32:37,391
- You like being a magician?
- I love it.
498
00:32:37,424 --> 00:32:39,193
You know I like
the best, though.
499
00:32:39,226 --> 00:32:41,361
The idea that I could maybe make
somebody's day
500
00:32:41,395 --> 00:32:43,565
a little less miserable
than mine.
501
00:32:43,598 --> 00:32:46,400
Not too difficult to do it,
I might add.
502
00:32:46,433 --> 00:32:48,068
I could teach you some
if you want.
503
00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:50,137
What are you going to
teach me first?
504
00:32:50,170 --> 00:32:52,640
How to put a snake
in a cookie jar?
505
00:32:52,674 --> 00:32:55,309
You know, Tim,
magic's a mindset.
506
00:32:55,342 --> 00:32:57,545
You start small
and you build it up,
507
00:32:57,579 --> 00:33:00,314
and then you're catching bullets
with your teeth.
508
00:33:00,347 --> 00:33:02,282
I'll teach you
everything I know.
509
00:33:02,316 --> 00:33:03,518
Except...
510
00:33:03,551 --> 00:33:06,220
my big signature trick.
511
00:33:06,253 --> 00:33:07,421
Why not that one?
512
00:33:07,454 --> 00:33:09,289
Tim, it's dangerous,
513
00:33:09,323 --> 00:33:10,558
even death-defying.
514
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,193
Plus, if I told you,
515
00:33:13,227 --> 00:33:15,162
I would have to kill you.
516
00:33:15,195 --> 00:33:16,396
Not if I killed you first.
517
00:33:16,430 --> 00:33:19,066
You can't
'cause I'd disappear. Poof!
518
00:33:21,168 --> 00:33:23,437
My dad used to teach me stuff.
519
00:33:23,470 --> 00:33:24,506
I wish he was here.
520
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,040
I do, too. I miss him.
521
00:33:29,476 --> 00:33:31,478
Anyway, tomorrow,
522
00:33:31,513 --> 00:33:32,814
we get magical.
523
00:33:32,847 --> 00:33:35,048
Give me it up high.
Down low.
524
00:33:35,082 --> 00:33:36,350
Too slow.
525
00:33:36,383 --> 00:33:38,820
Ooh, I'm out.
I'm safe though, right?
526
00:33:38,853 --> 00:33:40,320
- Sure.
- You sure?
527
00:33:40,354 --> 00:33:41,656
Yeah. You're good.
528
00:33:41,689 --> 00:33:43,056
- I hope so.
- Watch out for the spiders!
529
00:33:43,090 --> 00:33:45,225
- Oh!
- Nah, I'm kidding.
530
00:33:46,393 --> 00:33:47,394
[SNIFFS]
531
00:33:58,640 --> 00:33:59,674
[SHOUTING]
532
00:33:59,707 --> 00:34:01,174
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
533
00:34:01,709 --> 00:34:03,210
Cups.
534
00:34:03,243 --> 00:34:04,244
Put the ball in...
535
00:34:12,620 --> 00:34:13,621
[BLOWS]
536
00:34:17,157 --> 00:34:18,158
- Woah!
- Voila!
537
00:34:20,662 --> 00:34:21,663
[TALKING GIBBERISH]
538
00:34:22,764 --> 00:34:24,498
- [SCREAMS]
- I did it!
539
00:34:24,532 --> 00:34:25,533
[SCREAMING]
540
00:34:29,737 --> 00:34:30,738
Cool.
541
00:34:35,409 --> 00:34:36,611
[BOTH LAUGHING]
542
00:34:41,883 --> 00:34:43,083
[SPITS]
543
00:34:49,222 --> 00:34:50,257
Hey!
544
00:34:51,191 --> 00:34:52,492
Getting some ice cream?
545
00:34:52,527 --> 00:34:53,861
Not today.
546
00:34:53,895 --> 00:34:55,462
Sunflower seeds are safer.
547
00:34:55,495 --> 00:34:57,832
Probably not as sticky either.
548
00:34:57,865 --> 00:34:59,099
- Want some?
- Sure.
549
00:35:02,537 --> 00:35:03,871
- [MUNCHING]
- Clifford?
550
00:35:05,740 --> 00:35:06,774
Yeah.
551
00:35:09,343 --> 00:35:10,410
Ew.
552
00:35:10,444 --> 00:35:11,846
So where do you live?
553
00:35:11,879 --> 00:35:12,880
Right down the street.
554
00:35:14,381 --> 00:35:15,415
[SPITTING]
555
00:35:15,449 --> 00:35:17,284
I'm staying with my uncle.
556
00:35:17,317 --> 00:35:18,385
Parents on vacation?
557
00:35:19,486 --> 00:35:20,722
No,
558
00:35:20,755 --> 00:35:21,789
they died.
559
00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:25,593
My daddy died in the war.
560
00:35:32,533 --> 00:35:33,935
- [LAUGHS]
- Ew.
561
00:35:33,968 --> 00:35:35,870
You're not supposed
to eat the shell.
562
00:35:35,903 --> 00:35:37,337
Why?
563
00:35:37,371 --> 00:35:39,172
So you have to crack the shell,
564
00:35:39,206 --> 00:35:40,842
and then you spit out the shell,
565
00:35:40,875 --> 00:35:42,610
and then you eat
the stuff inside.
566
00:35:42,644 --> 00:35:43,678
That's gross.
567
00:35:43,711 --> 00:35:44,712
No, try it.
568
00:35:46,313 --> 00:35:48,181
Okay, here goes.
569
00:35:53,521 --> 00:35:54,722
It takes some practice.
570
00:35:54,756 --> 00:35:57,190
Got a whole bag. Keep trying.
571
00:35:57,224 --> 00:35:59,627
My mom would love
seeing me do this.
572
00:35:59,661 --> 00:36:00,862
You wanna see a magic trick?
573
00:36:01,696 --> 00:36:02,697
Sure.
574
00:36:08,903 --> 00:36:11,506
- Red and blue, right?
- Uh-huh.
575
00:36:11,539 --> 00:36:14,742
Now, it's yellow and green.
576
00:36:14,776 --> 00:36:15,777
Whoa.
577
00:36:16,811 --> 00:36:18,680
- Wanna try?
- Sure.
578
00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:19,947
Nope.
579
00:36:19,981 --> 00:36:22,215
A magician
never reveals his secrets.
580
00:36:22,249 --> 00:36:23,283
[CHUCKLES]
581
00:36:26,854 --> 00:36:28,288
This is so cute.
582
00:36:28,321 --> 00:36:30,892
I'd like to buy it.
How much is it?
583
00:36:30,925 --> 00:36:32,292
$5.
584
00:36:38,533 --> 00:36:40,200
LADY: I think this is five.
585
00:36:42,570 --> 00:36:45,305
JENNIFER: One, two,
three, it's five.
586
00:36:45,338 --> 00:36:46,473
Well, thank you so much.
587
00:36:46,507 --> 00:36:47,842
You're welcome. Enjoy Bonita.
588
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,409
Thank you. I will.
589
00:36:51,612 --> 00:36:52,847
MAX: Hello.
590
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,247
Hello.
591
00:36:54,281 --> 00:36:56,584
- Just that.
- You look familiar.
592
00:36:57,985 --> 00:36:59,654
Wait a minute. You do, too.
593
00:36:59,687 --> 00:37:01,589
You bought one of our
freshly-impounded used cars.
594
00:37:02,824 --> 00:37:04,357
Jen-ni-fer.
595
00:37:04,391 --> 00:37:06,561
Oh, that's such a...
That's a beautiful name.
596
00:37:07,628 --> 00:37:08,863
And you're that, uh,
597
00:37:08,896 --> 00:37:10,631
Merlin, the magician guy.
598
00:37:10,665 --> 00:37:12,934
Max "the Magical."
599
00:37:12,967 --> 00:37:15,603
At your service, my lady.
It's catchy, isn't it?
600
00:37:15,636 --> 00:37:17,337
Merlin is the guy
with the beard.
601
00:37:17,370 --> 00:37:18,806
Old guy, not like me.
602
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,675
And he helps the kid
with the sword.
603
00:37:20,708 --> 00:37:21,776
It's a good movie.
604
00:37:21,809 --> 00:37:25,345
So where is your magic outfit?
605
00:37:25,378 --> 00:37:26,881
It's at the cleaners.
606
00:37:26,914 --> 00:37:29,316
It's tough getting all
that fairy dust off, you know.
607
00:37:29,349 --> 00:37:30,785
Plus, a little baby
throw-up, too.
608
00:37:30,818 --> 00:37:32,754
Listen, I know this timing
is maybe a little weird...
609
00:37:32,787 --> 00:37:33,788
$49.95.
610
00:37:36,557 --> 00:37:38,726
You know what?
I actually have this.
611
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,393
That's embarrassing.
612
00:37:40,427 --> 00:37:44,331
Um, I will just get
this beautiful little heart.
613
00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:47,001
$10. Cash or credit?
614
00:37:48,569 --> 00:37:50,037
I love the way you say that.
615
00:37:50,071 --> 00:37:51,506
"Cash or credit."
616
00:37:53,074 --> 00:37:55,977
Cash, 'cause I have
plenty of cash.
617
00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:57,745
Cash has not been
a problem for me,
618
00:37:57,779 --> 00:37:59,514
if you know what I mean.
619
00:37:59,547 --> 00:38:01,682
Do you wanna buy Park Place
or Boardwalk?
620
00:38:03,885 --> 00:38:06,954
Remnants from a series
of pranks with my nephew.
621
00:38:06,988 --> 00:38:08,556
We called a truce.
622
00:38:08,589 --> 00:38:10,658
Actually, I surrendered.
623
00:38:10,691 --> 00:38:12,593
Um, it's a long story.
624
00:38:13,861 --> 00:38:15,696
We all have stories, don't we?
625
00:38:16,764 --> 00:38:17,999
$10 for the heart.
626
00:38:21,736 --> 00:38:22,970
Ten and one.
627
00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,606
That's for you.
628
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:26,741
Here's your heart.
629
00:38:28,643 --> 00:38:29,677
Thank you.
630
00:38:30,945 --> 00:38:31,979
I'll go.
631
00:38:37,552 --> 00:38:38,786
- Bye...
- [METAL CLANKING]
632
00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:44,692
[MAX SIGHING HEAVILY]
633
00:38:46,727 --> 00:38:48,896
That's four times
through the line in a half hour.
634
00:38:48,930 --> 00:38:50,832
I know. I love it.
635
00:38:50,865 --> 00:38:52,700
I think it's my new hobby.
636
00:38:52,733 --> 00:38:54,869
Your quest
will be fruitless, you know.
637
00:38:55,503 --> 00:38:56,537
Mmm.
638
00:38:56,571 --> 00:38:57,972
I believe in Cinderella stories.
639
00:38:58,005 --> 00:38:59,607
I believe in tragedies.
640
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:00,975
- [MAX CHUCKLES]
- Hmm.
641
00:39:01,008 --> 00:39:02,610
- That's really funny.
- [LAUGHS]
642
00:39:03,511 --> 00:39:04,846
$3.50.
643
00:39:04,879 --> 00:39:07,515
Oh, yeah. You know what?
644
00:39:07,548 --> 00:39:10,084
I know how stores
always need change.
645
00:39:10,117 --> 00:39:11,752
It's funny
they never have change.
646
00:39:12,620 --> 00:39:13,855
[COINS JINGLING]
647
00:39:13,888 --> 00:39:15,590
So that's why
I'm paying in change,
648
00:39:15,623 --> 00:39:17,925
not because I don't have
money or anything like that.
649
00:39:17,959 --> 00:39:20,528
But I brought you some...
Some quarters.
650
00:39:20,561 --> 00:39:21,963
Quarters are important.
651
00:39:21,996 --> 00:39:24,065
One, two...
652
00:39:24,098 --> 00:39:26,767
Three... Let me take you
away from this.
653
00:39:26,801 --> 00:39:28,669
You know what?
That's good enough.
654
00:39:28,703 --> 00:39:29,837
Just take the bird.
655
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,643
Thank you, from me, too.
656
00:39:35,676 --> 00:39:36,944
You should see me in my cape.
657
00:39:38,145 --> 00:39:39,547
I did.
658
00:40:04,005 --> 00:40:05,072
[CRASHING]
659
00:40:11,746 --> 00:40:12,747
[SIGHS]
660
00:40:14,148 --> 00:40:15,716
[SQUEALS]
661
00:40:15,750 --> 00:40:17,184
- Oh, sorry.
- You scared the hell out of me.
662
00:40:17,218 --> 00:40:19,587
I'm sorry. Sorry.
I hurt my whole leg.
663
00:40:19,620 --> 00:40:22,023
Oh, hi. How are you?
664
00:40:22,056 --> 00:40:24,191
- Funny meeting you here.
- [SIGHS IN RELIEF]
665
00:40:24,225 --> 00:40:26,861
Okay, look,
you seem like a nice guy.
666
00:40:26,894 --> 00:40:28,629
Thanks. I am. I'm really nice.
667
00:40:28,663 --> 00:40:30,998
Okay. I just got into town.
I've got responsibilities.
668
00:40:31,032 --> 00:40:33,868
Meeting a man at this point
is not a priority.
669
00:40:33,901 --> 00:40:37,004
Oh, well, how far down the list
do you think it is?
670
00:40:37,038 --> 00:40:38,739
It's about where your shoes are.
671
00:40:41,575 --> 00:40:44,512
- So you're saying there's a chance?
- Okay, I'm just keeping it real.
672
00:40:44,545 --> 00:40:45,980
- That's from Dumb and Dumber.
- I know.
673
00:40:46,013 --> 00:40:48,849
You do?
See, we have this in common.
674
00:40:48,883 --> 00:40:51,585
Um, okay. You know what?
You know what?
675
00:40:51,619 --> 00:40:53,187
Catch me
on one of my TV commercials.
676
00:40:53,220 --> 00:40:55,156
Aren't your TV commercials
late at night?
677
00:40:56,190 --> 00:40:57,825
Yeah.
678
00:40:57,858 --> 00:41:00,561
Technically,
the next morning. So?
679
00:41:00,594 --> 00:41:02,229
You hurt my feelings.
680
00:41:04,031 --> 00:41:05,733
I will look for it.
681
00:41:05,766 --> 00:41:07,969
I'm gonna send you
a secret signal,
682
00:41:08,002 --> 00:41:10,171
Monopoly money.
I'm gonna wave it out.
683
00:41:10,204 --> 00:41:11,772
I'm just gonna walk around you.
684
00:41:11,806 --> 00:41:13,908
- This is our thing anyway right?
- Yep.
685
00:41:13,941 --> 00:41:17,545
Oh, that was... That was magic.
686
00:41:23,818 --> 00:41:25,920
[SIGHS WEARILY]
687
00:41:25,953 --> 00:41:29,824
Max. Did Tim tell you
about his new friend?
688
00:41:29,857 --> 00:41:31,258
No. Big deal, Mrs. C.
689
00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:33,995
It's a girl.
690
00:41:34,028 --> 00:41:35,930
[TIM SIGHS]
691
00:41:35,963 --> 00:41:38,532
Facts of life
are in play already, huh?
692
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,036
All right, come on. Let's go.
693
00:41:43,304 --> 00:41:45,639
Little man talk, Mrs. C.
Let's go.
694
00:41:45,673 --> 00:41:46,941
MRS. CHAMBERS: Okay. I got it.
695
00:41:53,981 --> 00:41:55,649
This is gonna be awkward. Okay?
696
00:41:56,751 --> 00:41:57,918
Hit me.
697
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:02,957
- What's your secret?
- Secret?
698
00:42:02,990 --> 00:42:05,192
With the babes, man.
699
00:42:05,226 --> 00:42:07,328
You're getting everywhere.
I'm getting nowhere.
700
00:42:07,361 --> 00:42:09,563
There is no secret.
701
00:42:09,597 --> 00:42:12,166
I just let it happen naturally.
702
00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:15,336
[CHUCKLES] Okay, I see
what's happening here.
703
00:42:15,369 --> 00:42:18,139
You want to see old Uncle Max
burn up on reentry.
704
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:21,642
You know what?
705
00:42:21,675 --> 00:42:23,944
I'll tell you my secret
706
00:42:23,978 --> 00:42:27,715
if you tell me your big trick.
707
00:42:27,748 --> 00:42:29,884
A magician never reveals
his tricks.
708
00:42:31,252 --> 00:42:33,254
Okay, good luck with the babes.
709
00:42:37,291 --> 00:42:40,294
MRS. CHAMBERS: Hmm. Good talk?
710
00:42:40,327 --> 00:42:42,263
He still has a lot to learn.
711
00:42:54,375 --> 00:42:57,378
LYLE: I've sent a few items
gathered from your past.
712
00:42:57,411 --> 00:42:58,846
I knew I never gave you
713
00:42:58,879 --> 00:43:01,315
all the father-son talks
you deserve.
714
00:43:01,348 --> 00:43:04,652
I was never a hug
and kissy type of father.
715
00:43:04,685 --> 00:43:08,055
You had many more coming
than I ever gave you.
716
00:43:08,089 --> 00:43:12,093
You never let me down.
You always tried your hardest.
717
00:43:12,126 --> 00:43:14,895
And when we argued,
you were mostly right.
718
00:43:14,929 --> 00:43:17,865
But I couldn't bend
in my thinking.
719
00:43:17,898 --> 00:43:19,700
Life is so short, as they say,
720
00:43:19,733 --> 00:43:24,038
so make your years with Tim
heartfelt and full of joy.
721
00:43:24,071 --> 00:43:27,141
Always here for you. Love, Dad.
722
00:43:27,174 --> 00:43:28,175
TIM: What's that?
723
00:43:29,877 --> 00:43:32,980
My, uh, my dad sent this.
724
00:43:33,013 --> 00:43:34,782
It's all stuff
from when I was a kid.
725
00:43:44,291 --> 00:43:46,894
Broke my nose trying to catch
my first grounder.
726
00:43:49,096 --> 00:43:51,031
Nice catch. Oh...
727
00:43:51,765 --> 00:43:53,701
Here.
728
00:43:53,734 --> 00:43:56,303
Your first hand-me-down.
729
00:43:56,337 --> 00:43:58,973
Be careful with that thing.
You could poke an eye out.
730
00:44:00,307 --> 00:44:02,243
Or mine.
731
00:44:02,276 --> 00:44:05,212
Maybe I should use it
on this boy named Clifford.
732
00:44:07,481 --> 00:44:08,916
He's got it out for me.
733
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:13,754
I noticed the scratches
once in a while.
734
00:44:13,787 --> 00:44:14,788
Clifford? Huh?
735
00:44:16,190 --> 00:44:18,159
- Cliff-ford?
- Mmm-hmm.
736
00:44:18,192 --> 00:44:19,827
[MIMICKING CHOKING] Clifford.
737
00:44:19,860 --> 00:44:22,096
I'd be a bully
if my name was Cli-fford.
738
00:44:23,831 --> 00:44:25,399
So what's his racket?
739
00:44:25,432 --> 00:44:28,269
- Takes lunch money, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
740
00:44:28,302 --> 00:44:31,305
That and he makes people
pay for protection...
741
00:44:31,338 --> 00:44:32,840
from himself.
742
00:44:32,873 --> 00:44:36,010
- [CHUCKLES]
- He calls it life insurance.
743
00:44:36,043 --> 00:44:39,079
Word is, he has 500 bucks
in his backpack.
744
00:44:39,113 --> 00:44:42,816
- What?
- I say it's like closer to 150.
745
00:44:45,219 --> 00:44:47,354
Not too sure
what I'm supposed to say here.
746
00:44:47,388 --> 00:44:49,190
I think I should say,
747
00:44:49,223 --> 00:44:52,126
"Don't ever take that slingshot
to school for any reason."
748
00:44:52,159 --> 00:44:53,427
[TIM SIGHS]
749
00:44:53,460 --> 00:44:56,063
- Hmm?
- Okay.
750
00:44:56,096 --> 00:44:59,233
You gotta settle it
with your fists. Capisce?
751
00:44:59,266 --> 00:45:01,068
- Really?
- You give him a one-way ticket
752
00:45:01,101 --> 00:45:04,071
to knuckle airlines,
uppercut. Uppercut.
753
00:45:04,104 --> 00:45:06,774
- Seriously?
- Let me see what you got.
754
00:45:06,807 --> 00:45:09,210
Yeah, that's it. You kick butt.
755
00:45:09,243 --> 00:45:12,514
- Name names.
- Yeah, yeah.
756
00:45:12,547 --> 00:45:14,516
Yeah. That hurts, okay.
757
00:45:14,549 --> 00:45:16,417
You walk away.
758
00:45:16,450 --> 00:45:18,986
You know,
bullies are just bullies
759
00:45:19,019 --> 00:45:20,821
because they're scared.
760
00:45:20,854 --> 00:45:24,325
They don't want anyone to know
so they put on this big act.
761
00:45:24,358 --> 00:45:28,195
You stand up to him,
you got no problems.
762
00:45:28,229 --> 00:45:29,897
I never thought about it
that way.
763
00:45:31,533 --> 00:45:34,935
Well, this time, you should.
764
00:45:39,173 --> 00:45:40,374
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
765
00:45:40,407 --> 00:45:41,909
I can't hit a thing.
766
00:45:41,942 --> 00:45:44,111
- Can I try?
- Sure.
767
00:45:44,144 --> 00:45:45,145
Hey.
768
00:45:48,048 --> 00:45:49,049
- Yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.
769
00:45:52,386 --> 00:45:54,188
How did you do that?
770
00:45:54,221 --> 00:45:55,724
Just did it.
771
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,494
So, have you cried yet?
772
00:46:01,195 --> 00:46:02,363
No.
773
00:46:04,465 --> 00:46:05,799
I cry every day.
774
00:46:06,500 --> 00:46:08,068
Especially at night.
775
00:46:10,371 --> 00:46:11,539
Leaving already?
776
00:46:14,408 --> 00:46:16,277
I hear my mom cry at night.
777
00:46:18,145 --> 00:46:19,947
Crying is good.
778
00:46:19,980 --> 00:46:22,416
I wish I could talk
to my mom and dad.
779
00:46:22,449 --> 00:46:23,585
You can.
780
00:46:23,618 --> 00:46:25,252
Visit them at their grave site.
781
00:46:26,287 --> 00:46:27,421
It helped me.
782
00:46:29,056 --> 00:46:31,125
I gotta go. See you around.
783
00:46:34,862 --> 00:46:35,863
See you later.
784
00:46:40,968 --> 00:46:42,803
- [GLASS BREAKING]
- [CAR ALARM BLARING]
785
00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:53,914
So, yeah, I just waited for her
outside her store,
786
00:46:53,947 --> 00:46:56,483
you know, suave and stuff.
787
00:46:56,518 --> 00:46:58,252
So you... You're stalking her.
788
00:46:59,386 --> 00:47:01,121
Stalking,
789
00:47:01,155 --> 00:47:02,956
staking, staking out.
790
00:47:02,990 --> 00:47:05,392
[CHUCKLES] So?
791
00:47:05,426 --> 00:47:07,194
The Berlin Wall went up again.
792
00:47:08,962 --> 00:47:10,565
So, break it down again.
793
00:47:12,066 --> 00:47:14,902
It might take
another hundred years.
794
00:47:14,935 --> 00:47:16,270
Definitely would be worth it,
though.
795
00:47:17,672 --> 00:47:18,872
[FUNNY RINGTONE]
796
00:47:22,176 --> 00:47:23,844
Yeah. Hi, Mrs. C.
797
00:47:25,112 --> 00:47:26,980
What?
798
00:47:27,014 --> 00:47:28,015
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
799
00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:31,653
Unbelievable.
800
00:47:31,686 --> 00:47:35,989
Yeah. No. Lock him in the closet
with no food or water.
801
00:47:36,023 --> 00:47:37,491
I'll be there as soon as I can.
802
00:47:39,326 --> 00:47:40,361
What happened?
803
00:47:41,228 --> 00:47:43,130
Timmy, the kid,
804
00:47:43,163 --> 00:47:45,966
broke a car window
with a slingshot.
805
00:47:45,999 --> 00:47:47,535
Who gave him that?
806
00:47:47,569 --> 00:47:49,537
Someone who should
definitely not
807
00:47:49,571 --> 00:47:52,039
have responsibility
over young children.
808
00:47:55,577 --> 00:47:56,578
[BRAKES SCREECH]
809
00:47:59,446 --> 00:48:00,881
[ENGINE SPLUTTERING]
810
00:48:03,484 --> 00:48:04,485
Whoa! [GRUNTS]
811
00:48:05,986 --> 00:48:07,689
- Max.
- Hi.
812
00:48:07,722 --> 00:48:10,190
- Tim left.
- What?
813
00:48:10,224 --> 00:48:12,459
- [BANGING ON DOOR]
- Vinnie, open up!
814
00:48:13,628 --> 00:48:15,095
I didn't call the cops.
815
00:48:15,129 --> 00:48:16,463
Vinnie, I don't have time
for your games.
816
00:48:16,497 --> 00:48:18,399
My nephew, Tim, took off.
Which way did he go?
817
00:48:23,671 --> 00:48:24,672
[BLOWS]
818
00:48:26,140 --> 00:48:27,207
You're really high up.
819
00:48:28,475 --> 00:48:30,043
Sorry about the window.
820
00:48:31,378 --> 00:48:33,347
It's all right.
The wind made it curve.
821
00:48:35,249 --> 00:48:36,551
Are you gonna punish me?
822
00:48:37,217 --> 00:48:38,252
Nah.
823
00:48:39,153 --> 00:48:40,655
That is nah,
824
00:48:40,688 --> 00:48:42,489
as long as you tell me
your secret.
825
00:48:45,292 --> 00:48:46,927
All right, I'll go first.
826
00:48:49,096 --> 00:48:50,464
My secret is...
827
00:48:51,699 --> 00:48:53,967
I don't have
a big signature trick.
828
00:48:55,002 --> 00:48:56,970
I never have.
829
00:48:57,004 --> 00:48:59,473
That's why I work
a nowhere job for peanuts.
830
00:49:00,675 --> 00:49:02,376
I lack inspiration.
831
00:49:03,343 --> 00:49:05,345
I like your magic tricks.
832
00:49:05,379 --> 00:49:08,550
Yeah, well, thanks.
'Cause you're a rare breed.
833
00:49:08,583 --> 00:49:10,585
All right, that's my secret.
You're up.
834
00:49:11,519 --> 00:49:13,187
My secret?
835
00:49:13,220 --> 00:49:15,590
Yeah, come on.
I just spilled my guts out.
836
00:49:17,291 --> 00:49:20,294
The secret is to be yourself.
837
00:49:20,327 --> 00:49:21,729
That's what I do.
838
00:49:21,763 --> 00:49:24,164
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on. This is serious.
839
00:49:24,198 --> 00:49:26,400
Listen, I met
this total babe, and...
840
00:49:26,433 --> 00:49:28,168
I mean lady.
841
00:49:28,202 --> 00:49:30,137
And every time I get around her,
842
00:49:30,170 --> 00:49:32,473
I say stupid things,
I do stupid things,
843
00:49:32,507 --> 00:49:34,374
I get real nervous.
844
00:49:34,408 --> 00:49:35,743
For the first time...
845
00:49:37,244 --> 00:49:38,245
ever.
846
00:49:39,279 --> 00:49:40,715
I need help, man!
847
00:49:41,616 --> 00:49:43,116
Come on, spill it.
848
00:49:43,150 --> 00:49:46,220
Like, how did your dad
get your mom?
849
00:49:46,253 --> 00:49:49,189
How am I supposed to know?
I wasn't even born.
850
00:49:49,223 --> 00:49:50,625
Yeah. Good point.
851
00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:52,527
Well, just take a guess.
852
00:49:54,328 --> 00:49:55,697
She always liked compliments.
853
00:49:56,664 --> 00:49:58,265
Ah, yeah.
854
00:49:58,298 --> 00:50:00,033
Jennifer, you're so hot.
855
00:50:00,067 --> 00:50:02,236
No more specific.
856
00:50:02,269 --> 00:50:03,470
Like...
857
00:50:03,505 --> 00:50:05,305
Your hair smells delicious.
858
00:50:06,406 --> 00:50:08,810
Or... I like your boobies.
859
00:50:08,843 --> 00:50:11,713
No, come on.
860
00:50:11,746 --> 00:50:14,281
Like, your eyes are beautiful.
861
00:50:14,314 --> 00:50:16,651
Oh, yeah, yeah. Eyes are good.
862
00:50:18,252 --> 00:50:20,655
She also liked thoughtful gifts.
863
00:50:20,688 --> 00:50:22,790
Oh, yeah.
I could get her like a...
864
00:50:22,824 --> 00:50:25,392
a gift certificate
to the movies.
865
00:50:25,425 --> 00:50:27,629
Come on. More thoughtful.
866
00:50:27,662 --> 00:50:31,298
Like, if it's the first thing
that comes to mind...
867
00:50:31,331 --> 00:50:33,200
Yeah. Then it's not
that thoughtful.
868
00:50:33,233 --> 00:50:34,234
No.
869
00:50:35,369 --> 00:50:36,804
Good talk. Good talk.
870
00:50:38,171 --> 00:50:39,172
I'm falling.
871
00:50:41,141 --> 00:50:42,142
[MAX GROANS]
872
00:50:44,444 --> 00:50:46,213
I, Max
873
00:50:46,246 --> 00:50:47,582
"the Magical,"
874
00:50:47,615 --> 00:50:50,685
shall levitate that cup
into that can.
875
00:50:50,718 --> 00:50:53,655
- Do you believe I can do it?
- No.
876
00:50:53,688 --> 00:50:56,290
You wanna put your money
where your 10-year-old mouth is?
877
00:50:56,323 --> 00:50:59,059
- Quarter says I can.
- Bet you a dollar you can't.
878
00:51:00,628 --> 00:51:03,096
Dollar's pretty steep.
Okay, you better pay up.
879
00:51:04,832 --> 00:51:07,535
Please, I need complete silence.
880
00:51:09,604 --> 00:51:11,606
I am conjuring
my personal force.
881
00:51:16,778 --> 00:51:18,513
Yes!
882
00:51:18,546 --> 00:51:20,314
- You see it? It moved.
- No.
883
00:51:20,347 --> 00:51:22,784
- That was the wind.
- Wind-schmind. That was me.
884
00:51:22,817 --> 00:51:25,285
That was Max "the Magical."
Watch.
885
00:51:25,319 --> 00:51:26,521
Watch and learn.
886
00:51:34,862 --> 00:51:36,531
Can I pay you next week?
887
00:51:36,564 --> 00:51:38,633
No, no. The reason is
I gotta call my accountant,
888
00:51:38,666 --> 00:51:42,870
move some things around, offshore
accountants. It's for tax purposes.
889
00:51:42,904 --> 00:51:44,104
Yeah, right.
890
00:51:45,740 --> 00:51:47,842
Did you make mistakes
when you were a kid?
891
00:51:47,875 --> 00:51:50,243
[LAUGHS] Tons.
892
00:51:50,277 --> 00:51:53,113
I did so much stupid stuff,
my dad was so fed up with me.
893
00:51:53,681 --> 00:51:54,716
Wait.
894
00:51:59,186 --> 00:52:00,220
I think I just...
895
00:52:02,389 --> 00:52:05,192
Yeah, I just got an idea
for a new trick.
896
00:52:05,225 --> 00:52:06,928
- The big one?
- Could be.
897
00:52:06,961 --> 00:52:08,563
Could be.
But I'll tell you what.
898
00:52:08,596 --> 00:52:10,932
It's gonna take
a little humility
899
00:52:10,965 --> 00:52:12,900
and a lot of embarrassment.
900
00:52:12,934 --> 00:52:14,569
So, do it.
901
00:52:14,602 --> 00:52:17,805
Not for me, for you.
902
00:52:17,839 --> 00:52:20,575
- I look ridiculous.
- MAX: You do not.
903
00:52:20,608 --> 00:52:23,578
You look great. You said
you wanted to be my assistant.
904
00:52:23,611 --> 00:52:25,713
Man, I hope no one sees me.
905
00:52:25,747 --> 00:52:28,448
Everybody's gonna see you.
And we're gonna see...
906
00:52:31,251 --> 00:52:33,554
Yeah, hold on. Just don't move.
907
00:52:36,490 --> 00:52:38,693
- MAN: Pull the thing. Pull...
- Give me that.
908
00:52:38,726 --> 00:52:41,929
How many times have I told you?
Don't play with my magic stuff.
909
00:52:41,963 --> 00:52:44,866
- His fault.
- I'm sorry.
910
00:52:44,899 --> 00:52:47,367
Now, if you want me to show you
how to do it, I will.
911
00:52:48,402 --> 00:52:50,337
But not now, because I'm mad.
912
00:52:50,370 --> 00:52:53,206
Oh, but listen, I was thinking
about this other trick
913
00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:57,344
when I levitate,
and then I come back down
914
00:52:58,278 --> 00:52:59,514
and then... [EXCLAIMS]
915
00:52:59,547 --> 00:53:01,683
You don't know how to levitate.
916
00:53:01,716 --> 00:53:02,784
I know how to levitate.
917
00:53:02,817 --> 00:53:03,818
[BOYS GROANING]
918
00:53:04,686 --> 00:53:05,920
Hold this.
919
00:53:06,888 --> 00:53:09,624
Hey! Get off! Get off him!
920
00:53:09,657 --> 00:53:10,892
Stand right there!
921
00:53:10,925 --> 00:53:12,325
What the heck is going on?
922
00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:13,728
I leave you alone
for two seconds
923
00:53:13,761 --> 00:53:14,962
and you get into a fight?
924
00:53:14,996 --> 00:53:16,964
Self-defense.
Clifford started it.
925
00:53:16,998 --> 00:53:19,399
- He had it coming.
- Hey.
926
00:53:19,433 --> 00:53:21,836
You beat it before I make you
pay for the hat.
927
00:53:21,869 --> 00:53:23,971
Whatever.
I'll teach you later, Tim.
928
00:53:24,005 --> 00:53:25,673
Listen, you're not... [WHIMPERS]
929
00:53:28,576 --> 00:53:30,477
- I'm not doing this anymore.
- No. Hold on.
930
00:53:30,511 --> 00:53:32,345
Hold on, the outfit.
Don't do that.
931
00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:34,549
The outfit's paid for, buddy.
932
00:53:34,582 --> 00:53:36,884
- What about the big reveal?
- Do it yourself.
933
00:53:38,786 --> 00:53:40,588
Tim.
934
00:53:40,621 --> 00:53:42,289
We were gonna be...
935
00:53:42,322 --> 00:53:44,491
Go to Mrs. C's, Tim.
936
00:53:44,525 --> 00:53:46,460
[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]
937
00:53:54,836 --> 00:53:58,005
♪ We've lost the time
938
00:53:58,039 --> 00:54:02,375
♪ The past is gonna break in
There's nothing We can say or do
939
00:54:02,409 --> 00:54:05,445
♪ It's like I'm living a lie
940
00:54:05,479 --> 00:54:07,347
♪ The road has gone astray
941
00:54:07,380 --> 00:54:10,450
♪ But I know I'll find
A way back home
942
00:54:10,484 --> 00:54:12,787
♪ Oh no
943
00:54:12,820 --> 00:54:15,322
♪ If I was missing
From the frame
944
00:54:15,355 --> 00:54:18,626
♪ Would you notice?
And where did you go?
945
00:54:20,862 --> 00:54:24,297
♪ The switches ain't the same
With you gone
946
00:54:24,331 --> 00:54:28,301
♪ But there's no tears
947
00:54:28,335 --> 00:54:33,340
♪ Your love
There's magic in your eyes
948
00:54:33,373 --> 00:54:35,676
♪ It's tragic... ♪
949
00:54:35,710 --> 00:54:36,911
[SONG CONTINUES
PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]
950
00:54:39,881 --> 00:54:42,650
TIM: Mom, Dad,
951
00:54:42,683 --> 00:54:45,787
I know you're in heaven
and I'm gonna have to wait,
952
00:54:45,820 --> 00:54:48,956
but I think I know
what you told me.
953
00:54:50,024 --> 00:54:52,459
This is my life now.
954
00:54:52,492 --> 00:54:54,028
I should make
the best of it, huh?
955
00:54:58,599 --> 00:54:59,600
I miss them.
956
00:55:01,903 --> 00:55:03,470
I miss them, too.
957
00:55:11,512 --> 00:55:12,847
I'm a failure, Jim.
958
00:55:14,849 --> 00:55:17,450
I'm warping this kid's
young, fragile mind.
959
00:55:20,087 --> 00:55:22,890
- [FUNNY RINGTONE]
- Oh, phones!
960
00:55:28,963 --> 00:55:29,997
Hi, Mrs. C.
961
00:55:31,699 --> 00:55:33,000
Yeah, I know.
962
00:55:33,034 --> 00:55:35,536
Sidekick thing
was a bad idea. I...
963
00:55:38,105 --> 00:55:40,007
Tim just got home?
964
00:55:40,041 --> 00:55:41,509
What do you mean he just...
965
00:55:41,542 --> 00:55:43,476
It's 10:00.
Where the hell was he?
966
00:55:45,513 --> 00:55:47,748
Brandi?
967
00:55:47,782 --> 00:55:49,517
He was with Brandi. [CHUCKLES]
968
00:55:50,785 --> 00:55:52,086
That little player.
969
00:55:53,087 --> 00:55:54,555
Her mom's there.
970
00:55:55,122 --> 00:55:56,958
She's mad.
971
00:55:56,991 --> 00:55:58,358
Extremely mad.
972
00:56:00,427 --> 00:56:02,429
Not at me, though, right?
973
00:56:02,462 --> 00:56:03,698
No, no, no.
974
00:56:03,731 --> 00:56:06,033
Okay, I'll be right there.
975
00:56:06,067 --> 00:56:07,735
MAX: Sorry I'm late. Mrs. C.
976
00:56:09,003 --> 00:56:10,638
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
977
00:56:10,671 --> 00:56:11,873
You two know each other?
978
00:56:11,906 --> 00:56:14,775
- Yeah, we met.
- Briefly.
979
00:56:14,809 --> 00:56:16,878
I think I hear laundry
calling my name.
980
00:56:16,911 --> 00:56:18,946
Why don't you two go watch TV
for a few minutes?
981
00:56:22,183 --> 00:56:24,785
- I wanna go with them.
- You, stay.
982
00:56:27,154 --> 00:56:28,689
I was worried sick.
983
00:56:28,723 --> 00:56:30,191
Two 10-year-old's
have no business
984
00:56:30,224 --> 00:56:32,193
roaming the streets
at night. We have rules.
985
00:56:32,226 --> 00:56:34,095
You're darn right we do.
986
00:56:34,128 --> 00:56:36,030
Now what are we gonna do
about her?
987
00:56:36,063 --> 00:56:38,599
Oh, she's in trouble, too.
988
00:56:38,633 --> 00:56:41,102
Ever since Brandi's been hanging
around with your nephew,
989
00:56:41,135 --> 00:56:43,738
I am slipping on sunflower
shells all over the house.
990
00:56:43,771 --> 00:56:45,806
Oh, no.
991
00:56:47,808 --> 00:56:52,146
They're kids,
they bond in different ways.
992
00:56:52,179 --> 00:56:54,481
Mrs. Chambers told me
about your brother.
993
00:56:55,516 --> 00:56:57,184
I am sorry.
994
00:56:57,218 --> 00:56:59,153
It's not easy. We can relate.
995
00:56:59,186 --> 00:57:01,756
And, Tim,
he seems like a great kid.
996
00:57:01,789 --> 00:57:03,490
But keep him away
from your daughter.
997
00:57:03,524 --> 00:57:05,159
No, I don't want that.
998
00:57:05,192 --> 00:57:07,762
It's not fair of me
to take that away.
999
00:57:07,795 --> 00:57:11,165
But I cannot be at work
wondering if Brandi is safe.
1000
00:57:11,198 --> 00:57:13,200
Mrs. C could watch them.
1001
00:57:13,234 --> 00:57:16,070
And then you could swing by
to pick them up.
1002
00:57:16,103 --> 00:57:17,805
I'm thinking six-ish.
1003
00:57:19,006 --> 00:57:21,042
So you guarantee her safety?
1004
00:57:23,577 --> 00:57:24,912
[MIMICKING GODFATHER STYLE]
1005
00:57:24,946 --> 00:57:27,548
Mmm. I'm gonna
have to ask you for a favor.
1006
00:57:30,084 --> 00:57:31,919
Godfather.
1007
00:57:31,953 --> 00:57:35,022
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm doing.
1008
00:57:35,056 --> 00:57:36,691
This is new to me, you know?
1009
00:57:36,724 --> 00:57:40,194
Yeah, I'm guessing it's not easy
being an instant parent.
1010
00:57:40,227 --> 00:57:41,862
Parenthood was microwaved
1011
00:57:41,896 --> 00:57:44,065
and then thrown into my life
like a frozen TV dinner.
1012
00:57:44,098 --> 00:57:45,700
But I don't have the directions,
1013
00:57:45,733 --> 00:57:47,101
so I don't know
which part to put the slit in
1014
00:57:47,134 --> 00:57:48,669
or which part to peel back.
1015
00:57:48,703 --> 00:57:50,504
And so I end up with
overdone peach cobbler
1016
00:57:50,538 --> 00:57:52,239
and frozen chimichangas.
1017
00:57:52,273 --> 00:57:55,609
It is not easy.
I will give you that.
1018
00:57:55,643 --> 00:57:57,078
Well, thank you.
1019
00:57:57,111 --> 00:57:59,246
B, we gotta go, missy.
1020
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,515
BRANDI: One second, Mom.
1021
00:58:01,549 --> 00:58:06,954
So how does one globally warm
your attitude towards them?
1022
00:58:06,988 --> 00:58:09,223
You could keep my kid safe,
for starters.
1023
00:58:09,256 --> 00:58:10,958
- I can do that.
- Good.
1024
00:58:11,826 --> 00:58:12,893
Good.
1025
00:58:14,195 --> 00:58:16,664
You know, actually, um...
1026
00:58:16,697 --> 00:58:18,299
- there is one thing.
- Yes.
1027
00:58:18,332 --> 00:58:20,634
No, I just never gave up hope.
1028
00:58:22,136 --> 00:58:23,671
What?
1029
00:58:23,704 --> 00:58:25,973
Um, it's Brandi's 11th birthday
on Friday.
1030
00:58:26,007 --> 00:58:27,975
Maybe it would be cool
if you and Tim
1031
00:58:28,009 --> 00:58:30,678
could swing by around dinner
and surprise her.
1032
00:58:30,711 --> 00:58:33,647
Surp... [WHISPERS] Surprise.
1033
00:58:33,681 --> 00:58:35,750
- We'll come.
- Good.
1034
00:58:35,783 --> 00:58:38,719
- Good.
- I'll have cake and food.
1035
00:58:38,753 --> 00:58:40,755
Cake is good.
1036
00:58:43,758 --> 00:58:46,927
She doesn't know anyone,
so it is kind of a big deal.
1037
00:58:46,961 --> 00:58:49,730
You don't have to get her anything.
Just yourselves is enough.
1038
00:58:49,764 --> 00:58:52,066
No, no, no, no, no.
We're gonna get her something.
1039
00:58:52,099 --> 00:58:54,702
I mean,
not too extravagant, but...
1040
00:58:54,735 --> 00:58:57,605
And then maybe
a little magic on the side.
1041
00:58:58,806 --> 00:59:00,975
- You see what I did there?
- Yes.
1042
00:59:01,008 --> 00:59:02,877
- It's innuendo.
- It's great.
1043
00:59:02,910 --> 00:59:05,112
- Thank you.
- So Tim knows where we live.
1044
00:59:05,146 --> 00:59:07,148
It's just
down the street, 1167.
1045
00:59:07,181 --> 00:59:09,717
1167, 1167.
1046
00:59:09,750 --> 00:59:12,186
- Okay, then. See you later.
- 1167, 1167.
1047
00:59:12,953 --> 00:59:15,089
1167. Not you.
1048
00:59:16,057 --> 00:59:17,058
[TIM SIGHS]
1049
00:59:28,369 --> 00:59:31,205
Max, this is Chubby the Clown.
1050
00:59:31,238 --> 00:59:33,040
Chubby is gonna be helping us
out here.
1051
00:59:33,074 --> 00:59:35,643
He'll be getting the laughs
and you do the magic.
1052
00:59:35,676 --> 00:59:36,677
[CHUBBY LAUGHING]
1053
00:59:38,312 --> 00:59:40,147
No way, Grismer.
1054
00:59:40,181 --> 00:59:41,682
This is my turf.
1055
00:59:41,715 --> 00:59:43,984
I've worked this gig
hard for years.
1056
00:59:46,887 --> 00:59:48,656
I'm the headliner here, Grismer.
1057
00:59:48,689 --> 00:59:50,658
We need some new blood.
1058
00:59:50,691 --> 00:59:52,193
So you brought a clown?
1059
00:59:52,226 --> 00:59:54,095
People love clowns.
1060
00:59:54,128 --> 00:59:57,331
Oh. [LAUGHS]
1061
00:59:59,767 --> 01:00:03,003
If I had a dollar for every time
you threatened to switch to...
1062
01:00:03,037 --> 01:00:05,906
If I had a dollar
for every dollar I've lost
1063
01:00:05,940 --> 01:00:09,276
because of your bad attitude
and stale tricks,
1064
01:00:09,310 --> 01:00:11,345
I wouldn't need a clown.
1065
01:00:11,378 --> 01:00:14,982
Don't even try it.
I make compliments rain.
1066
01:00:15,015 --> 01:00:16,717
Yeah, that's all pity.
1067
01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:18,018
Pity, nothing.
1068
01:00:18,052 --> 01:00:20,221
If it weren't for me being
so damn charming
1069
01:00:20,254 --> 01:00:23,224
with my damn charming
television commercials,
1070
01:00:23,257 --> 01:00:25,192
you wouldn't sell a thing.
1071
01:00:25,226 --> 01:00:27,294
Well, we'll just
have to see about that.
1072
01:00:31,198 --> 01:00:33,434
I'm thinking of a new act.
1073
01:00:33,467 --> 01:00:36,337
It's not your act, Max,
it's you.
1074
01:00:36,370 --> 01:00:37,872
You're fired.
1075
01:00:38,405 --> 01:00:39,807
I quit!
1076
01:00:41,342 --> 01:00:43,377
Oh!
1077
01:00:43,410 --> 01:00:46,213
Whoo! It's raining,
it's raining!
1078
01:00:46,247 --> 01:00:50,017
You're not only a bad magician,
you're a bad person.
1079
01:00:50,050 --> 01:00:51,452
Oh, yeah?
1080
01:00:51,485 --> 01:00:53,287
Oh, yeah!
1081
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,157
You think I'm a bad person, huh?
1082
01:00:56,190 --> 01:00:59,660
You, think
I'm a bad person, huh? Huh?
1083
01:01:02,129 --> 01:01:04,798
I'm a great person. Yeah.
1084
01:01:04,832 --> 01:01:06,734
I'm a...
1085
01:01:06,767 --> 01:01:08,335
I'm America's sweetheart.
1086
01:01:08,369 --> 01:01:10,337
I'm a national
frigging treasure.
1087
01:01:10,371 --> 01:01:11,972
I'm the Julia Roberts
1088
01:01:12,006 --> 01:01:15,743
of used car sales, baby.
Rain it down.
1089
01:01:19,980 --> 01:01:21,916
I'm a good person.
1090
01:01:21,949 --> 01:01:24,118
There goes
employee of the month.
1091
01:01:24,151 --> 01:01:25,853
MAX: Go rob
another makeup store.
1092
01:01:27,188 --> 01:01:28,989
Clean up on aisle three.
1093
01:01:30,391 --> 01:01:33,794
Think he forgot his meds.
1094
01:01:33,827 --> 01:01:36,330
MAX: Not a lot of positions
for an out-of-work magician.
1095
01:01:37,798 --> 01:01:40,367
- Birthday parties?
- No.
1096
01:01:40,401 --> 01:01:41,936
Know what those little monsters
1097
01:01:41,969 --> 01:01:43,370
do to magicians
at those parties?
1098
01:01:43,404 --> 01:01:44,972
It's not pretty.
1099
01:01:46,073 --> 01:01:47,274
Birthday party.
1100
01:01:48,442 --> 01:01:49,944
What's today?
1101
01:01:49,977 --> 01:01:51,078
Uh, Friday.
1102
01:01:53,314 --> 01:01:54,481
Friday!
1103
01:01:55,416 --> 01:01:56,817
I suck.
1104
01:01:59,086 --> 01:02:00,254
Put it on my tab.
1105
01:02:03,357 --> 01:02:04,892
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
1106
01:02:22,544 --> 01:02:24,512
I'm sorry.
Brandi, I'm sorry...
1107
01:02:24,546 --> 01:02:26,146
Look, I don't have the energy.
1108
01:02:26,180 --> 01:02:27,948
Do you care about anyone
but yourself?
1109
01:02:30,184 --> 01:02:31,185
I'm done.
1110
01:02:42,564 --> 01:02:43,764
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
1111
01:02:49,036 --> 01:02:50,104
Can I come in?
1112
01:02:54,975 --> 01:02:56,310
All right. Um...
1113
01:02:57,278 --> 01:02:58,513
I'm sorry.
1114
01:02:59,947 --> 01:03:01,248
I know I let you down.
1115
01:03:03,017 --> 01:03:04,118
I let everyone down.
1116
01:03:06,253 --> 01:03:07,888
You know, I had a bad day.
1117
01:03:09,857 --> 01:03:11,760
Yeah, that's just an excuse,
isn't it?
1118
01:03:13,528 --> 01:03:15,530
I'm a work in progress, Tim.
1119
01:03:15,563 --> 01:03:18,533
I'm really trying,
but I'm gonna make mistakes.
1120
01:03:18,566 --> 01:03:20,501
But I'll keep trying.
I promise you that.
1121
01:03:22,169 --> 01:03:24,104
Wonder what your parents
would be thinking of me now?
1122
01:03:25,573 --> 01:03:27,174
I'm not much of a father.
1123
01:03:28,610 --> 01:03:30,477
I wasn't much
of an uncle either, was I?
1124
01:03:32,514 --> 01:03:34,148
I just hope you can forgive me.
1125
01:03:36,116 --> 01:03:37,451
Do you think you can?
1126
01:03:39,086 --> 01:03:41,088
I mean,
you don't have to answer that.
1127
01:03:42,923 --> 01:03:43,924
All right.
1128
01:03:45,627 --> 01:03:47,895
I know she liked it
1129
01:03:47,928 --> 01:03:49,564
when my dad went out of his way.
1130
01:03:55,670 --> 01:03:59,406
Like one time,
he gave up his night at the gym
1131
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:02,976
to go take a swing dance class
with my mom.
1132
01:04:03,010 --> 01:04:05,346
He said that earned him
all sorts of points.
1133
01:04:05,379 --> 01:04:07,014
[CHUCKLES]
1134
01:04:07,047 --> 01:04:09,517
Dad noticed the little things.
1135
01:04:09,551 --> 01:04:11,985
What little things?
What do you mean?
1136
01:04:12,019 --> 01:04:14,355
Well, "You changed your hair.
1137
01:04:14,388 --> 01:04:15,989
"You've been working out.
1138
01:04:16,691 --> 01:04:18,225
"New outfit."
1139
01:04:20,194 --> 01:04:21,862
Got to make sacrifices.
1140
01:04:23,063 --> 01:04:25,065
Sacrifices.
1141
01:04:25,099 --> 01:04:27,635
I don't know
what I'd sacrifice, Tim.
1142
01:04:27,669 --> 01:04:30,404
[SIGHING SADLY]
1143
01:04:30,437 --> 01:04:33,974
Well, maybe instead of focusing
on this big trick
1144
01:04:34,007 --> 01:04:36,276
that you think
will make you rich and famous
1145
01:04:36,310 --> 01:04:38,379
and attractive to women,
1146
01:04:38,412 --> 01:04:41,516
you should put in the work
like my dad did with my mom.
1147
01:04:51,125 --> 01:04:52,459
MRS. CHAMBERS: Can I help?
1148
01:04:52,493 --> 01:04:55,195
You've cooked enough for me.
It's my turn.
1149
01:04:55,229 --> 01:04:57,965
Wow. This is
a pleasant surprise, Max.
1150
01:04:57,998 --> 01:05:01,502
Well, I wouldn't say that
just yet.
1151
01:05:01,536 --> 01:05:05,472
- I hope you like scrambled.
- Yes.
1152
01:05:05,507 --> 01:05:08,275
- Shells or no shells?
- Without shells, Max.
1153
01:05:08,308 --> 01:05:09,644
But I'm not picky.
1154
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,382
- Mrs. C?
- Yes.
1155
01:05:18,185 --> 01:05:20,120
Um...
1156
01:05:20,154 --> 01:05:22,089
if you could have one thing,
1157
01:05:22,122 --> 01:05:23,457
just one wish, what would it be?
1158
01:05:25,325 --> 01:05:26,594
I don't know.
1159
01:05:28,429 --> 01:05:32,299
Maybe a planter on my porch
with some flowers in it.
1160
01:05:34,067 --> 01:05:36,136
MRS. CHAMBERS: Ooh.
How's it going, Max?
1161
01:05:37,004 --> 01:05:38,972
What do you think?
1162
01:05:39,006 --> 01:05:41,074
- Oh, my goodness.
- Pretty good, huh?
1163
01:05:41,108 --> 01:05:43,511
Uh! Max, Max, Max.
1164
01:05:44,445 --> 01:05:45,979
Mmm.
1165
01:05:46,013 --> 01:05:48,750
- You know what, Mrs. C.
- What?
1166
01:05:48,783 --> 01:05:51,151
I think I have to beg
for my job back.
1167
01:05:53,187 --> 01:05:54,756
I have to do it for Tim.
1168
01:05:54,789 --> 01:05:57,257
I mean,
I got to take care of him.
1169
01:05:57,291 --> 01:06:00,562
So swallow your pride
and just do it.
1170
01:06:00,595 --> 01:06:02,463
[SIGHS] Yeah.
I'll tell you what, though.
1171
01:06:02,496 --> 01:06:04,364
If he starts yammering on
1172
01:06:04,398 --> 01:06:06,033
about magic running its course,
and clowns running its course,
1173
01:06:06,066 --> 01:06:07,635
"I'm gonna have
a petting zoo,"
1174
01:06:07,669 --> 01:06:09,436
I don't know
if I can keep a straight face,
1175
01:06:09,470 --> 01:06:12,005
much less not hit him.
1176
01:06:12,039 --> 01:06:14,141
You can do it, Max.
1177
01:06:14,174 --> 01:06:16,076
[SIGHS]
1178
01:06:16,109 --> 01:06:18,378
- Mrs. C.
- Mmm-hmm?
1179
01:06:18,412 --> 01:06:21,783
How do I know
if I become a selfless person?
1180
01:06:21,816 --> 01:06:23,417
When it comes
to you naturally
1181
01:06:23,450 --> 01:06:25,152
and you don't have
to think about it.
1182
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:27,722
Until then?
1183
01:06:27,755 --> 01:06:31,258
Until then, you just do
what you're doing now.
1184
01:06:31,291 --> 01:06:32,760
You got a big heart, Max,
1185
01:06:32,794 --> 01:06:34,261
that you don't want
people to see.
1186
01:06:34,294 --> 01:06:35,597
Shh. There are neighbors.
1187
01:06:35,630 --> 01:06:38,031
You're a good person, Max.
1188
01:06:38,065 --> 01:06:41,268
Little unorthodox
with your parenting,
1189
01:06:41,301 --> 01:06:44,171
but you care.
I can see it.
1190
01:06:44,204 --> 01:06:47,207
- And you know what?
- What?
1191
01:06:47,241 --> 01:06:49,142
Tim can see it, too.
1192
01:06:51,513 --> 01:06:53,615
- You know what, Mrs. C?
- What?
1193
01:06:53,648 --> 01:06:55,449
You always
make me feel great.
1194
01:06:59,353 --> 01:07:01,221
I love you.
1195
01:07:01,255 --> 01:07:03,290
Mr. C was a lucky man.
1196
01:07:03,323 --> 01:07:04,358
Mmm.
1197
01:07:06,661 --> 01:07:08,362
I love you, too, Max.
1198
01:07:09,731 --> 01:07:11,533
Keep working on it, baby.
1199
01:07:11,566 --> 01:07:12,700
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna build
you a whole bunch of these.
1200
01:07:12,734 --> 01:07:14,434
MRS. CHAMBERS: Oh. Help me.
1201
01:07:15,637 --> 01:07:17,672
- Oh, hi.
- JENNIFER: Hi.
1202
01:07:17,705 --> 01:07:19,139
BRANDI: Hi.
1203
01:07:19,674 --> 01:07:21,375
Hey, baby.
1204
01:07:21,408 --> 01:07:23,310
Max is right back there.
1205
01:07:25,445 --> 01:07:27,180
Hello.
1206
01:07:27,214 --> 01:07:29,817
Hi.
1207
01:07:29,851 --> 01:07:32,754
I don't wanna punish them
for something someone else did.
1208
01:07:32,787 --> 01:07:34,622
I was hoping you'd say that.
1209
01:07:37,825 --> 01:07:39,794
There's nothing I can say,
1210
01:07:39,827 --> 01:07:41,328
but there is something
I can do.
1211
01:07:41,361 --> 01:07:43,831
Yeah? What is that?
1212
01:07:43,865 --> 01:07:45,733
Be a man.
1213
01:07:45,767 --> 01:07:47,569
I started last night though.
1214
01:07:47,602 --> 01:07:49,369
You can probably tell already,
I shouldn't have said that.
1215
01:07:51,873 --> 01:07:53,608
What is that?
1216
01:07:53,641 --> 01:07:55,342
A planter box,
I built it for Mrs. C.
1217
01:07:55,375 --> 01:07:56,544
Pretty nice, huh?
1218
01:07:56,578 --> 01:07:58,412
Oh, I didn't realize
you were handy.
1219
01:07:58,445 --> 01:08:00,815
Yeah.
1220
01:08:00,848 --> 01:08:02,215
You must have
a green thumb.
1221
01:08:02,249 --> 01:08:04,819
Well, I didn't make
the plants.
1222
01:08:04,852 --> 01:08:06,219
I bought 'em.
1223
01:08:07,421 --> 01:08:09,122
It's the thought
that counts.
1224
01:08:09,156 --> 01:08:10,390
Right?
1225
01:08:10,424 --> 01:08:12,426
- Hi.
- Hi.
1226
01:08:12,459 --> 01:08:14,529
- You're here for play date with Tim?
- Mmm-hmm.
1227
01:08:14,562 --> 01:08:15,697
Around back.
1228
01:08:15,730 --> 01:08:16,864
Can I go, Mommy?
1229
01:08:16,898 --> 01:08:18,198
Of course, sweetheart.
1230
01:08:18,231 --> 01:08:19,266
Ahoy.
1231
01:08:19,299 --> 01:08:21,769
- [CHUCKLES]
- Ahoy.
1232
01:08:21,803 --> 01:08:23,671
And if Mommy
wants a play date...
1233
01:08:24,739 --> 01:08:26,440
That's stupid.
1234
01:08:26,473 --> 01:08:28,342
It was good to see you.
1235
01:08:49,196 --> 01:08:50,497
- Susan.
- Oh.
1236
01:08:54,201 --> 01:08:55,737
You look lovely.
1237
01:09:00,474 --> 01:09:01,943
[WHISPERING]
That's a letter for Mike.
1238
01:09:01,976 --> 01:09:03,711
It's from
an anonymous source.
1239
01:09:03,745 --> 01:09:05,880
And I want you
to deliver it.
1240
01:09:05,913 --> 01:09:07,915
Why? Why don't you
do it yourself?
1241
01:09:08,916 --> 01:09:10,818
Because I want you to.
1242
01:09:10,852 --> 01:09:13,888
Isn't that your job,
to deliver correspondents to everybody?
1243
01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:16,524
Kiss my butt.
But I'll do it.
1244
01:09:16,557 --> 01:09:18,826
And then you need
to ask Mike out.
1245
01:09:18,860 --> 01:09:20,662
Why?
1246
01:09:20,695 --> 01:09:23,931
Because... he likes you.
1247
01:09:23,965 --> 01:09:26,968
And if you wait for him to ask you
out, you'll both be old and gray
1248
01:09:27,001 --> 01:09:28,803
before he musters
the courage.
1249
01:09:28,836 --> 01:09:30,270
Okay? So.
1250
01:09:30,303 --> 01:09:31,873
Got it.
1251
01:09:31,906 --> 01:09:33,941
Thanks for the tip, Max.
1252
01:09:33,975 --> 01:09:37,310
I take back some of the things
I said about you.
1253
01:09:37,344 --> 01:09:39,446
- Like one or two things.
- Okay.
1254
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:41,849
I said
a lot of bad things.
1255
01:09:41,883 --> 01:09:43,618
- I'll take that.
- Okay.
1256
01:09:52,292 --> 01:09:54,796
SUSAN:
Mike! Mike!
1257
01:09:54,829 --> 01:09:56,296
What? What's this?
1258
01:09:56,329 --> 01:09:58,465
It's a letter from
an anonymous source.
1259
01:09:58,498 --> 01:09:59,634
Anonymous? For me?
1260
01:09:59,667 --> 01:10:01,569
- Open it now.
- Yeah.
1261
01:10:04,404 --> 01:10:07,675
"Dear Mike,
if anyone deserves
1262
01:10:07,709 --> 01:10:10,745
"to launch his own repair shop,
it's you.
1263
01:10:10,778 --> 01:10:12,547
"Here's a cashier's check for...
1264
01:10:14,448 --> 01:10:17,484
"for $20,000
to get you started.
1265
01:10:17,518 --> 01:10:20,722
"A friend." Are you serious?
Are you kidding me?
1266
01:10:20,755 --> 01:10:22,623
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm...
1267
01:10:22,657 --> 01:10:24,424
Oh, my gosh!
1268
01:10:24,458 --> 01:10:26,359
- I'm so happy for you!
- Oh, my gosh!
1269
01:10:26,393 --> 01:10:30,464
Yes! Yes, I'll go to dinner
with you tonight to celebrate!
1270
01:10:30,497 --> 01:10:31,999
- Really?
- Yes.
1271
01:10:33,935 --> 01:10:35,870
I apologize
for barging in,
1272
01:10:35,903 --> 01:10:38,973
but I... I really do
need your advice.
1273
01:10:39,006 --> 01:10:41,241
When I first met Max,
1274
01:10:42,309 --> 01:10:43,878
he didn't seem content,
1275
01:10:43,911 --> 01:10:47,782
and he seemed
a little self-absorbed.
1276
01:10:47,815 --> 01:10:51,986
In all honesty, I did not think
that he was father material.
1277
01:10:52,019 --> 01:10:55,523
But I gotta say, it seems like
the proof is in the pudding,
1278
01:10:56,591 --> 01:10:58,659
and I may have misjudged him.
1279
01:10:58,693 --> 01:11:01,996
Max is like
a starched un-pressed shirt
1280
01:11:02,029 --> 01:11:04,364
that needs
a little iron on it.
1281
01:11:05,432 --> 01:11:07,034
Got it.
1282
01:11:07,068 --> 01:11:09,469
He's a work in progress,
1283
01:11:09,503 --> 01:11:12,573
but he has a good heart.
Always has.
1284
01:11:12,607 --> 01:11:17,377
Now, he may become
the best dad in the world,
1285
01:11:17,410 --> 01:11:19,479
but then again,
he could drive you crazy.
1286
01:11:19,514 --> 01:11:21,582
[LAUGHS]
1287
01:11:24,051 --> 01:11:26,053
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1288
01:11:32,860 --> 01:11:35,696
- You got the stuff?
- What stuff?
1289
01:11:35,730 --> 01:11:37,732
The seeds, man,
the seeds!
1290
01:11:37,765 --> 01:11:39,432
- Oh, right.
- [SIGHS]
1291
01:11:40,067 --> 01:11:41,769
Come on.
1292
01:11:41,803 --> 01:11:43,037
Thank you.
1293
01:11:46,808 --> 01:11:49,944
You ever think that your
mom could be into my uncle?
1294
01:11:49,977 --> 01:11:52,713
Ew, if they ever got married
and you got adopted,
1295
01:11:52,747 --> 01:11:54,749
that would make us
brother and sister.
1296
01:11:55,616 --> 01:11:57,885
Good point.
1297
01:11:57,919 --> 01:12:00,888
At first, I would've said
no possible way,
1298
01:12:00,922 --> 01:12:02,623
but I have
this weird feeling.
1299
01:12:02,657 --> 01:12:04,025
Like what?
1300
01:12:04,058 --> 01:12:05,893
Like he might be
growing on her.
1301
01:12:05,927 --> 01:12:07,728
- Yikes.
- I know.
1302
01:12:08,896 --> 01:12:10,363
We have to find
a way to stop this
1303
01:12:10,397 --> 01:12:11,833
before we become
brother and sister.
1304
01:12:11,866 --> 01:12:12,900
But how?
1305
01:12:14,101 --> 01:12:15,536
I don't know.
1306
01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:19,439
[LAUGHS] Stop.
1307
01:12:19,472 --> 01:12:20,975
[SIGHING] Mike.
1308
01:12:21,008 --> 01:12:23,678
Hey. Thank you.
1309
01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:26,047
- For what?
- Susan decided to go out with me.
1310
01:12:26,948 --> 01:12:28,549
That's great.
1311
01:12:28,583 --> 01:12:29,917
Why're you thanking me?
1312
01:12:29,951 --> 01:12:31,484
Because I think
she said yes
1313
01:12:31,519 --> 01:12:33,386
because you made me
look good by comparison.
1314
01:12:33,420 --> 01:12:35,455
[MOCKING LAUGH]
1315
01:12:35,488 --> 01:12:36,991
Mike, I got problems, man.
1316
01:12:37,024 --> 01:12:39,060
Tomorrow is "bring your parent
to school" day.
1317
01:12:39,093 --> 01:12:40,628
- Nice.
- Not nice.
1318
01:12:40,661 --> 01:12:44,065
What if I blow it,
you know, the kid?
1319
01:12:44,098 --> 01:12:46,067
Plus, there's a fundraiser
after school,
1320
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:49,637
and for some reason,
I volunteered to be the headliner.
1321
01:12:49,670 --> 01:12:52,006
Wow, that's...
That's high-pressure.
1322
01:12:52,039 --> 01:12:53,440
You're not kidding, man.
1323
01:12:53,473 --> 01:12:55,710
We're talking
about first-graders.
1324
01:12:55,743 --> 01:12:57,078
Brutal.
1325
01:12:57,111 --> 01:12:59,046
Hi, class.
1326
01:13:02,817 --> 01:13:05,686
Well, I should first
start by explaining
1327
01:13:05,720 --> 01:13:08,488
that I am not Tim's dad.
1328
01:13:09,190 --> 01:13:11,559
Or his mom.
1329
01:13:17,064 --> 01:13:19,834
Tim's parents
couldn't be here today
1330
01:13:21,535 --> 01:13:24,171
because they are in heaven.
1331
01:13:24,205 --> 01:13:27,742
Let's all take a moment
of silence for Tim.
1332
01:13:33,114 --> 01:13:34,882
Okay, great.
1333
01:13:35,883 --> 01:13:38,219
I am actually Tim's uncle
1334
01:13:38,252 --> 01:13:40,855
and I am a magician.
1335
01:13:42,023 --> 01:13:44,825
Who knows
what a magician is?
1336
01:13:44,859 --> 01:13:46,994
Yeah.
We're not in kindergarten.
1337
01:13:47,962 --> 01:13:49,462
Right.
1338
01:13:49,496 --> 01:13:52,967
Hold your questions
till the end. Thank you.
1339
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:57,204
Now I'm sure you've all seen me
in my television commercials.
1340
01:13:57,238 --> 01:14:01,142
Well, the parents have...
1341
01:14:01,175 --> 01:14:03,945
Okay, well,
why don't I get started
1342
01:14:03,978 --> 01:14:05,980
with a good easy trick?
1343
01:14:06,013 --> 01:14:11,018
And I think that
Mr. Helpful over here
1344
01:14:11,052 --> 01:14:13,688
is gonna be
my lovely assistant,
1345
01:14:13,721 --> 01:14:15,923
for I do believe
1346
01:14:15,957 --> 01:14:19,026
that you have something
behind your ear.
1347
01:14:19,060 --> 01:14:21,529
Where did that come from?
1348
01:14:21,562 --> 01:14:24,497
Isn't that egg-cellent?
1349
01:14:26,100 --> 01:14:30,104
Now, I'm going to levitate
this egg over your head,
1350
01:14:30,137 --> 01:14:34,675
and what you have to do
is say the magic word.
1351
01:14:34,709 --> 01:14:38,779
The magic word
is "scrambled."
1352
01:14:40,548 --> 01:14:43,150
Scrambled.
1353
01:14:43,184 --> 01:14:44,652
Are you ready?
1354
01:14:46,587 --> 01:14:47,655
Scrambled.
1355
01:14:49,056 --> 01:14:51,826
[KIDS LAUGHING]
1356
01:14:53,060 --> 01:14:54,762
I'm so sorry.
1357
01:14:54,795 --> 01:14:55,896
Here you go.
1358
01:14:55,930 --> 01:14:57,865
Wipe yourself off,
young man.
1359
01:14:59,867 --> 01:15:02,870
Uh-oh, that was
the wrong rag.
1360
01:15:02,903 --> 01:15:04,538
Whoops.
1361
01:15:04,572 --> 01:15:06,807
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
1362
01:15:06,841 --> 01:15:10,144
Now, does anybody
have $20, please?
1363
01:15:11,345 --> 01:15:13,914
Do the parents have $20?
1364
01:15:14,915 --> 01:15:16,550
How about $10?
1365
01:15:16,584 --> 01:15:19,220
Can I get
a ten-spot, please?
1366
01:15:19,253 --> 01:15:21,655
Wow, thank you.
You're very brave.
1367
01:15:21,689 --> 01:15:24,992
Now, I am going to rip
1368
01:15:25,026 --> 01:15:29,196
this $10 bill four times.
1369
01:15:32,299 --> 01:15:34,168
Oh, no, wait.
1370
01:15:34,201 --> 01:15:37,571
This was supposed
to be a rope.
1371
01:15:37,605 --> 01:15:39,707
Does anybody
have a rope?
1372
01:15:39,740 --> 01:15:41,776
How about a string?
1373
01:15:42,743 --> 01:15:44,578
Oh. Well,
1374
01:15:44,612 --> 01:15:47,348
I am feeling very bad
about your money, sir.
1375
01:15:47,381 --> 01:15:50,951
Would you please check
your inside pocket?
1376
01:15:53,921 --> 01:15:55,089
Nothing.
1377
01:15:55,756 --> 01:15:57,658
Nothing?
1378
01:15:57,691 --> 01:16:00,928
Well, where could it be?
1379
01:16:00,961 --> 01:16:05,032
Perhaps it's
in this levitating bag!
1380
01:16:05,066 --> 01:16:06,801
Whose backpack is that?
1381
01:16:08,202 --> 01:16:10,805
That's real money, kids.
Get it!
1382
01:16:15,176 --> 01:16:17,178
Where did all this money
come from?
1383
01:16:17,211 --> 01:16:19,613
It's raining! It's raining!
1384
01:16:19,647 --> 01:16:21,682
You better get that.
That's real money.
1385
01:16:21,715 --> 01:16:23,751
Let's go! Let's go!
1386
01:16:24,785 --> 01:16:26,087
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1387
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:28,923
And Max is so rad,
he made this backpack
1388
01:16:28,956 --> 01:16:30,257
levitate in the air
1389
01:16:30,291 --> 01:16:32,359
and then a bunch of money
came raining down.
1390
01:16:32,393 --> 01:16:34,695
Where did all
the money come from?
1391
01:16:34,728 --> 01:16:37,631
A magician never reveals
his secrets.
1392
01:16:37,665 --> 01:16:39,767
But I swear, he was
like Robin Hood.
1393
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:42,136
Taking from the rich
and giving it to the poor.
1394
01:16:42,169 --> 01:16:44,638
It was so cool.
1395
01:16:45,306 --> 01:16:46,841
Oh, right.
1396
01:16:46,874 --> 01:16:48,876
And, um, he gives me cookies
for breakfast.
1397
01:16:48,909 --> 01:16:51,178
By the way,
it's super bad for your teeth.
1398
01:16:52,713 --> 01:16:54,381
Ix-nay on the ool-kay.
1399
01:16:54,415 --> 01:16:55,883
Hey.
1400
01:16:56,851 --> 01:16:58,786
- Hi.
- Hi.
1401
01:16:58,819 --> 01:17:00,688
I heard you were a hit
at Parent Day.
1402
01:17:00,721 --> 01:17:03,057
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1403
01:17:03,090 --> 01:17:05,726
First let me say, whoa.
1404
01:17:07,161 --> 01:17:10,331
And second...
Hey, Tim.
1405
01:17:10,364 --> 01:17:13,000
Thanks for the good props,
wingman.
1406
01:17:16,737 --> 01:17:19,140
Is there something going on
with you?
1407
01:17:19,173 --> 01:17:20,708
Why do you ask?
1408
01:17:20,741 --> 01:17:23,777
I don't know.
I, uh, I noticed a change.
1409
01:17:25,479 --> 01:17:26,881
I'm blossoming.
1410
01:17:26,914 --> 01:17:28,816
[LAUGHS]
1411
01:17:28,849 --> 01:17:30,384
It might just be
my imagination.
1412
01:17:30,417 --> 01:17:33,120
No, I'm blossoming.
1413
01:17:33,154 --> 01:17:34,421
Well, it shows.
1414
01:17:35,823 --> 01:17:37,791
He has been good for me.
1415
01:17:37,825 --> 01:17:40,728
He makes me
see things differently.
1416
01:17:40,761 --> 01:17:42,863
He lights up
when he talks about you.
1417
01:17:42,897 --> 01:17:44,265
Yeah?
1418
01:17:44,298 --> 01:17:46,066
You know who else
he lights up for?
1419
01:17:49,503 --> 01:17:51,338
I was thinkin'
Friday after school,
1420
01:17:51,372 --> 01:17:52,973
if you're not busy,
we come back here,
1421
01:17:53,007 --> 01:17:55,109
we'll have a nice picnic,
all the the four of us.
1422
01:17:55,142 --> 01:17:58,145
We'll do it here, too, because
this is gonna be our spot.
1423
01:17:58,179 --> 01:18:01,715
I don't know.
Um, we got a lot going on.
1424
01:18:01,749 --> 01:18:03,384
Right after school?
1425
01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:06,020
Well, yes,
I mean, we have...
1426
01:18:06,053 --> 01:18:07,488
We're going
into the weekend,
1427
01:18:07,522 --> 01:18:09,924
and Brandi has this thing...
1428
01:18:09,957 --> 01:18:13,027
I'm not talking about anything different
than what we're doing right now.
1429
01:18:13,060 --> 01:18:15,729
Except with food
in a basket.
1430
01:18:15,763 --> 01:18:18,766
I know.
I will think about it.
1431
01:18:18,799 --> 01:18:21,001
Good. And when you
decide yes,
1432
01:18:21,035 --> 01:18:22,736
come meet us back here
1433
01:18:22,770 --> 01:18:24,772
and maybe
we'll be here, too.
1434
01:18:24,805 --> 01:18:26,106
And if you can't make it,
don't worry.
1435
01:18:26,140 --> 01:18:27,841
We probably
couldn't either.
1436
01:18:29,310 --> 01:18:31,513
I like spending time
with you.
1437
01:18:31,546 --> 01:18:33,714
And making sure
you eat.
1438
01:18:35,282 --> 01:18:37,117
We'll see.
1439
01:18:37,151 --> 01:18:38,886
Thank you
for the invitation.
1440
01:18:38,919 --> 01:18:40,921
You're welcome.
See you Friday.
1441
01:18:40,955 --> 01:18:42,156
Okay.
1442
01:18:42,189 --> 01:18:43,525
Tim!
1443
01:18:43,558 --> 01:18:47,161
Report back to base
at 6:00 p.m., soldier!
1444
01:18:48,195 --> 01:18:50,064
That's military talk.
1445
01:18:51,398 --> 01:18:52,499
Bye.
1446
01:18:59,273 --> 01:19:03,911
We have to stop this picnic/romantic
interlude at all cost.
1447
01:19:03,944 --> 01:19:05,547
But how?
1448
01:19:05,580 --> 01:19:07,515
I have an idea.
1449
01:19:07,549 --> 01:19:10,050
Well, we might be doing something
else right after school.
1450
01:19:13,921 --> 01:19:15,155
Mike...
1451
01:19:16,023 --> 01:19:17,559
business is dead.
1452
01:19:17,592 --> 01:19:20,261
No customers means
there's no sales,
1453
01:19:20,294 --> 01:19:24,832
no sales means
there's no broke cars...
1454
01:19:24,865 --> 01:19:28,102
and no broke cars means
there's nothing for you to fix.
1455
01:19:28,135 --> 01:19:30,971
So, it's over.
1456
01:19:31,005 --> 01:19:33,974
Well, I'll be fine, boss.
I'm more worried about you.
1457
01:19:34,008 --> 01:19:37,011
You know Chubby
is no Max.
1458
01:19:37,044 --> 01:19:40,881
He's got these freaky balloon
animals, they're scaring all the kids.
1459
01:19:40,914 --> 01:19:43,551
Do you know
any good magicians?
1460
01:19:43,585 --> 01:19:45,986
- Only one.
- How's that for timing?
1461
01:19:46,020 --> 01:19:47,421
No, no, no.
1462
01:19:47,454 --> 01:19:49,823
Don't poop your pants.
1463
01:19:49,857 --> 01:19:51,425
I came to apologize.
1464
01:19:52,393 --> 01:19:55,195
So, how's business?
1465
01:19:55,229 --> 01:19:57,031
Business is business.
1466
01:19:57,064 --> 01:19:58,999
You know how it is
this time of the year,
1467
01:19:59,033 --> 01:20:02,069
you gotta mix things up
and get a gimmick...
1468
01:20:02,102 --> 01:20:04,938
Magic has a shelf life.
1469
01:20:04,972 --> 01:20:06,541
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
1470
01:20:06,574 --> 01:20:08,842
Clowns are fun
for a while.
1471
01:20:08,876 --> 01:20:11,045
Hey!
1472
01:20:11,078 --> 01:20:13,881
Maybe next week,
we'll have a petting zoo.
1473
01:20:15,550 --> 01:20:18,620
Maybe I might be able
to save your bacon.
1474
01:20:18,653 --> 01:20:20,354
- You wanna hear my plan?
- Yeah.
1475
01:20:22,056 --> 01:20:23,591
Hear me out.
Flubby.
1476
01:20:23,625 --> 01:20:25,593
It's Chubby.
1477
01:20:25,627 --> 01:20:27,328
How many clowns
do you know?
1478
01:20:27,361 --> 01:20:29,496
I know a few, why?
1479
01:20:29,531 --> 01:20:32,199
We're gonna need more
than a few.
1480
01:20:32,232 --> 01:20:34,168
Or at least their costumes.
1481
01:20:34,201 --> 01:20:36,538
- You're ready?
- Yeah.
1482
01:20:36,571 --> 01:20:38,872
I was so hoping
you would say that.
1483
01:20:39,907 --> 01:20:41,075
See you.
1484
01:20:59,661 --> 01:21:02,196
Well, I just had a nice chat
with your principal.
1485
01:21:03,997 --> 01:21:05,299
You want to tell me
your side?
1486
01:21:06,166 --> 01:21:07,468
Clifford.
1487
01:21:09,436 --> 01:21:11,939
- You really belted him, huh?
- [GIGGLES]
1488
01:21:11,972 --> 01:21:13,907
Yeah, I got in
a couple good ones.
1489
01:21:13,941 --> 01:21:15,643
That's my man.
1490
01:21:15,677 --> 01:21:18,011
I thought you'd be mad.
1491
01:21:18,045 --> 01:21:20,314
You do know that
we had a picnic planned
1492
01:21:20,347 --> 01:21:22,316
with Brandi's mom
and Brandi.
1493
01:21:24,017 --> 01:21:26,053
What's that face for?
1494
01:21:27,287 --> 01:21:29,323
Uncle Max...
1495
01:21:29,356 --> 01:21:31,058
if you guys keep
hanging out,
1496
01:21:31,091 --> 01:21:33,260
then there's a chance
you could get married,
1497
01:21:33,293 --> 01:21:35,329
and that would be bad.
1498
01:21:35,362 --> 01:21:36,598
Why would that be bad?
1499
01:21:36,631 --> 01:21:39,366
Because if you adopted me,
1500
01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:43,370
then me and Brandi
would be brother and sister.
1501
01:21:43,404 --> 01:21:48,108
Well, let's not get
our hopes up, okay?
1502
01:21:48,142 --> 01:21:49,977
Brandi's mom can barely
stand me right now.
1503
01:21:50,010 --> 01:21:52,446
I mean, she probably
left that picnic,
1504
01:21:52,479 --> 01:21:54,616
if she even showed up
in the first place.
1505
01:21:55,416 --> 01:21:56,718
Let's go then.
1506
01:21:56,751 --> 01:21:58,452
- All right. All right.
- Come on!
1507
01:22:03,157 --> 01:22:05,392
♪ And if it's there
1508
01:22:05,426 --> 01:22:08,328
♪ Don't let it get you down
1509
01:22:08,362 --> 01:22:11,198
♪ You can take it
1510
01:22:13,701 --> 01:22:16,437
♪ And if it hurts
1511
01:22:16,470 --> 01:22:19,306
♪ Don't let them see you cry
1512
01:22:19,339 --> 01:22:22,976
♪ You can make it
1513
01:22:23,010 --> 01:22:25,680
♪ Hold your head up, oh
1514
01:22:25,713 --> 01:22:28,683
♪ Hold your head up, oh
1515
01:22:28,716 --> 01:22:31,151
♪ Hold your head up, oh
1516
01:22:31,185 --> 01:22:33,588
♪ Hold your head high ♪
1517
01:22:35,189 --> 01:22:36,591
Where are they?
1518
01:22:40,662 --> 01:22:41,696
[BRANDI SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1519
01:22:41,729 --> 01:22:43,197
[JENNIFER LAUGHING]
1520
01:22:43,230 --> 01:22:44,632
MAX: Oh.
1521
01:22:44,666 --> 01:22:48,770
Oh, you made it.
We were beginning to wonder.
1522
01:22:48,803 --> 01:22:52,272
Well, we had a little bid-ness to
take care of after school, right?
1523
01:22:52,306 --> 01:22:56,076
- My man, Tim, here had to...
- Take out the trash.
1524
01:22:56,109 --> 01:22:58,045
- Clean-up duty.
- Yeah.
1525
01:22:59,313 --> 01:23:00,347
Yeah.
1526
01:23:05,252 --> 01:23:07,254
[INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION]
1527
01:23:11,225 --> 01:23:15,496
♪ You sigh, the song begins
1528
01:23:15,530 --> 01:23:20,434
♪ You speak
And I hear violins... ♪
1529
01:23:20,467 --> 01:23:21,502
[BOTH GASP]
1530
01:23:21,536 --> 01:23:22,637
- Aah!
- No!
1531
01:23:22,670 --> 01:23:24,739
- [SCREAMING]
- Tim!
1532
01:23:33,748 --> 01:23:36,250
BRANDI:
I tried to grab his hand,
1533
01:23:36,283 --> 01:23:37,785
but I couldn't hold him.
1534
01:23:37,819 --> 01:23:41,623
Hey, you gave it
your best shot.
1535
01:23:41,656 --> 01:23:44,792
And it was our fault for
letting you guys climb so high.
1536
01:23:44,826 --> 01:23:48,428
One thing you can't stop
is kids being kids.
1537
01:23:48,462 --> 01:23:50,097
I'll be right back,
sweetheart.
1538
01:23:51,398 --> 01:23:52,700
Mrs. C will take care of you.
1539
01:23:52,734 --> 01:23:54,101
- Okay.
- Okay?
1540
01:23:54,134 --> 01:23:55,837
Come on, baby.
1541
01:23:55,870 --> 01:23:58,305
Come to Mrs. C.
1542
01:23:58,338 --> 01:24:00,340
Yeah, you're
gonna be all right.
1543
01:24:01,609 --> 01:24:03,076
[SNIFFLES]
1544
01:24:06,581 --> 01:24:08,583
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
1545
01:24:10,585 --> 01:24:11,819
Hi, Mom.
1546
01:24:12,720 --> 01:24:14,321
Dad.
1547
01:24:14,354 --> 01:24:16,290
Dad, wait, wait.
Before you say anything,
1548
01:24:16,323 --> 01:24:18,560
I want to say something
to you first, okay?
1549
01:24:21,461 --> 01:24:23,665
I wanted to say
that I'm sorry.
1550
01:24:25,533 --> 01:24:27,401
[SNIFFLES]
1551
01:24:27,434 --> 01:24:30,638
I'm sorry that I made you
worry about me so much.
1552
01:24:30,672 --> 01:24:33,173
You worked so hard
for us,
1553
01:24:33,206 --> 01:24:35,643
and you had so much
on your plate, and I just...
1554
01:24:36,811 --> 01:24:39,146
piled more on.
1555
01:24:39,179 --> 01:24:43,651
[SNIFFLES]
Because I understand now.
1556
01:24:43,685 --> 01:24:46,286
I really know what it means
to love somebody...
1557
01:24:47,254 --> 01:24:48,455
so much.
1558
01:24:51,391 --> 01:24:54,261
Dad, I'm you now.
1559
01:24:54,294 --> 01:24:56,598
But I don't know
what to do. [CRIES]
1560
01:24:59,801 --> 01:25:02,269
I'll call you as soon
as I know anything, okay?
1561
01:25:04,906 --> 01:25:06,608
Yeah, I love you, too.
1562
01:25:10,277 --> 01:25:11,646
Hey, bud.
1563
01:25:13,347 --> 01:25:14,582
It's Uncle Max.
1564
01:25:15,617 --> 01:25:16,684
Hey.
1565
01:25:17,652 --> 01:25:19,353
This is all my fault.
1566
01:25:21,188 --> 01:25:23,758
I should have been
paying better attention to you.
1567
01:25:25,593 --> 01:25:28,328
I should have been the grown-up
that I was supposed to be.
1568
01:25:29,797 --> 01:25:31,666
And I let you down, buddy.
1569
01:25:33,367 --> 01:25:34,869
Can I go home?
1570
01:25:35,770 --> 01:25:37,605
Oh, you bet.
1571
01:25:37,639 --> 01:25:40,474
We're gonna go home
to our home.
1572
01:25:40,508 --> 01:25:42,610
And then I'm gonna
take you camping,
1573
01:25:42,644 --> 01:25:44,277
I'm gonna teach you
how to fish.
1574
01:25:44,311 --> 01:25:46,179
I'm gonna teach you
how to drive.
1575
01:25:47,582 --> 01:25:49,617
I'm gonna teach you
every magic trick I know.
1576
01:25:49,651 --> 01:25:51,853
I'm definitely gonna teach
you how to climb trees
1577
01:25:51,886 --> 01:25:53,487
that are lower
to the ground.
1578
01:25:54,889 --> 01:25:56,924
And I'll never take you
for granted.
1579
01:25:57,859 --> 01:25:59,259
Dad?
1580
01:26:00,260 --> 01:26:01,896
No. It's just me.
1581
01:26:01,929 --> 01:26:04,632
Oh, hi, Uncle Max.
1582
01:26:05,499 --> 01:26:06,934
How you doing?
1583
01:26:07,902 --> 01:26:09,436
Why are you shaking?
1584
01:26:13,273 --> 01:26:15,442
Tim, I'm shaking
1585
01:26:15,475 --> 01:26:18,813
because I just realized
how much you mean to me.
1586
01:26:18,846 --> 01:26:21,348
And I've never felt
anything like this before.
1587
01:26:22,449 --> 01:26:24,919
It's a little scary.
1588
01:26:24,952 --> 01:26:28,488
You look like my dad when I
chipped my tooth in kindergarten.
1589
01:26:29,857 --> 01:26:32,794
Did I ever tell you
that your dad
1590
01:26:32,827 --> 01:26:36,463
was like a dad to me
when I was your age
1591
01:26:36,496 --> 01:26:38,298
because I was always
getting in trouble
1592
01:26:38,331 --> 01:26:41,602
and, um, he was always
looking out for me.
1593
01:26:43,037 --> 01:26:45,405
I miss him and Mom.
1594
01:26:46,007 --> 01:26:49,476
I do, too.
1595
01:26:49,510 --> 01:26:53,246
Pretty sure they'd be handling
it a lot better than I am.
1596
01:26:53,280 --> 01:26:55,817
No. You're doin' all right.
1597
01:26:56,617 --> 01:26:58,418
Thanks, bud.
1598
01:26:59,687 --> 01:27:01,656
You gotta get
some rest now, okay?
1599
01:27:01,689 --> 01:27:03,524
Thanks, Uncle Max.
1600
01:27:16,503 --> 01:27:19,707
I think the doctors are
actually more worried about me.
1601
01:27:19,741 --> 01:27:21,909
They checked
my blood pressure six times.
1602
01:27:30,518 --> 01:27:32,520
I'm feeling
a little better.
1603
01:27:41,394 --> 01:27:42,429
JENNIFER: Mmm.
1604
01:27:46,399 --> 01:27:48,468
Almost fully recovered.
1605
01:28:03,350 --> 01:28:05,553
Oh, there he is.
1606
01:28:05,586 --> 01:28:07,622
I've been thinking
about your proposal.
1607
01:28:07,655 --> 01:28:09,557
You have? That's great.
1608
01:28:09,590 --> 01:28:12,960
Listen, order yourself a
stiff one and keep thinking.
1609
01:28:12,994 --> 01:28:14,327
Jimbo.
1610
01:28:14,361 --> 01:28:15,997
I'd say
I'll see you tomorrow,
1611
01:28:16,030 --> 01:28:17,464
but I won't.
1612
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:20,668
- Adios.
- Oh, um...
1613
01:28:20,701 --> 01:28:23,704
About that new trick,
I'd like to talk about that.
1614
01:28:23,738 --> 01:28:25,006
- You would?
- Yeah.
1615
01:28:25,039 --> 01:28:26,574
Well, I'd love to tell you
about that,
1616
01:28:26,607 --> 01:28:28,776
but I'm not gonna.
1617
01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:31,913
My phone's been ringing off the hook
with calls from other dealerships.
1618
01:28:31,946 --> 01:28:35,950
Well, if that trick's
half of what you say it is,
1619
01:28:35,983 --> 01:28:38,052
- I'll...
- Double my pay.
1620
01:28:38,085 --> 01:28:39,887
Give you
a 5% raise?
1621
01:28:41,088 --> 01:28:43,658
Okay. Okay.
1622
01:28:43,691 --> 01:28:45,726
This is what I got planned.
1623
01:28:45,760 --> 01:28:47,460
The car's here.
1624
01:28:47,494 --> 01:28:51,498
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1625
01:28:51,532 --> 01:28:53,701
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
1626
01:28:53,734 --> 01:28:56,070
♪ Hand me down my walking cane
1627
01:28:56,103 --> 01:28:59,073
♪ Hand me down my hat ♪
1628
01:28:59,106 --> 01:29:01,042
Thank you everyone
for being here today.
1629
01:29:01,075 --> 01:29:04,078
We wish Magic Motors
every success.
1630
01:29:04,111 --> 01:29:07,548
- Whoo!
- Congratulations!
1631
01:29:07,582 --> 01:29:10,017
[ALL CHEERING]
1632
01:29:10,051 --> 01:29:11,819
Ladies and gentlemen,
1633
01:29:11,853 --> 01:29:14,421
I, Max "the Magical,"
1634
01:29:14,454 --> 01:29:18,025
would like to welcome you
all to the grand reboot
1635
01:29:18,059 --> 01:29:20,695
of Magic Motors.
1636
01:29:20,728 --> 01:29:24,131
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
1637
01:29:24,165 --> 01:29:26,901
Today, we have
an amazing experience
1638
01:29:26,934 --> 01:29:29,637
for you that
you will never forget.
1639
01:29:29,670 --> 01:29:33,074
So, are you prepared
to be amazed?
1640
01:29:33,107 --> 01:29:36,811
Are you prepared
to be astonished?
1641
01:29:36,844 --> 01:29:40,681
Are you prepared
to be mystified?
1642
01:29:40,715 --> 01:29:42,850
ALL: Yes!
1643
01:29:42,884 --> 01:29:44,652
Now I must confide in you
1644
01:29:44,685 --> 01:29:46,787
our owner here
at Magic Motors
1645
01:29:46,821 --> 01:29:49,557
has gone completely bonkers.
1646
01:29:49,590 --> 01:29:52,994
Our owner, Mr. Grismer,
1647
01:29:53,027 --> 01:29:57,999
is offering
a $750 discount check
1648
01:29:58,032 --> 01:30:01,501
to every single customer here,
1649
01:30:01,535 --> 01:30:06,107
- picked by a clown today.
- [CHEERING]
1650
01:30:06,140 --> 01:30:09,110
Now of course I said,
"Are you mad, man?
1651
01:30:09,143 --> 01:30:11,444
"Don't you want
to make any money?"
1652
01:30:11,478 --> 01:30:15,082
But he told me the customer
here at Magic Motors
1653
01:30:15,116 --> 01:30:17,685
always comes first.
1654
01:30:17,718 --> 01:30:19,654
[ALL CHEERING]
1655
01:30:20,521 --> 01:30:22,623
And so,
1656
01:30:22,657 --> 01:30:24,859
and without further ado,
1657
01:30:25,826 --> 01:30:27,962
send in the clowns.
1658
01:30:30,264 --> 01:30:32,800
[CROWD CHATTERING]
1659
01:30:40,274 --> 01:30:41,575
Whoa.
1660
01:30:44,211 --> 01:30:45,445
Whoa.
1661
01:30:49,917 --> 01:30:51,118
[BALLOONS EXPLODE]
1662
01:30:54,522 --> 01:30:56,724
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
1663
01:30:59,894 --> 01:31:01,796
Thank you.
1664
01:31:01,829 --> 01:31:03,698
Thank you, everyone.
1665
01:31:04,632 --> 01:31:07,001
Now let's buy some cars.
1666
01:31:07,034 --> 01:31:08,936
[ALL CHEERING]
1667
01:31:13,107 --> 01:31:15,209
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1668
01:31:28,622 --> 01:31:32,026
♪ The best things in life
Are free
1669
01:31:32,059 --> 01:31:34,595
♪ But you can give them
To the birds and bees
1670
01:31:34,628 --> 01:31:36,297
♪ I need money
1671
01:31:36,330 --> 01:31:38,099
♪ That's what I want
1672
01:31:38,132 --> 01:31:39,700
♪ That's what I want
1673
01:31:39,734 --> 01:31:41,769
♪ That's what I want
1674
01:31:41,802 --> 01:31:43,871
♪ That's what I want
1675
01:31:43,904 --> 01:31:46,540
♪ That's what I want
1676
01:31:46,574 --> 01:31:48,209
- ♪ That's what I want
- ♪ That's what I want
1677
01:31:49,977 --> 01:31:53,681
♪ Your love give me
Such a thrill
1678
01:31:53,714 --> 01:31:56,117
♪ But your love
Don't pay my bills
1679
01:31:56,150 --> 01:31:57,818
♪ I need money
1680
01:31:57,852 --> 01:31:59,787
♪ That's what I want
1681
01:31:59,820 --> 01:32:01,022
♪ That's what I want... ♪
1682
01:32:01,055 --> 01:32:03,090
Hey, mister,
can I have a balloon?
1683
01:32:03,124 --> 01:32:05,726
- Sure, kid.
- Thanks.
1684
01:32:05,760 --> 01:32:08,262
Be sure to tell your parents
where you got it.
1685
01:32:11,632 --> 01:32:12,666
♪ Money
1686
01:32:12,700 --> 01:32:14,668
♪ That's what I want
1687
01:32:14,702 --> 01:32:18,039
- ♪ Money
- ♪ That's what I want
1688
01:32:18,072 --> 01:32:21,575
- ♪ All of these greens
- ♪ That's what I want
1689
01:32:23,144 --> 01:32:25,646
♪ That's what I want
1690
01:32:29,617 --> 01:32:32,086
♪ That's what I want ♪
1691
01:32:32,119 --> 01:32:33,721
TIM: How about this?
1692
01:32:33,754 --> 01:32:35,890
Uncle Max isn't
scared anymore.
1693
01:32:35,923 --> 01:32:37,591
Of love, I mean.
1694
01:32:37,625 --> 01:32:39,093
MAX:
What do we have here?
1695
01:32:40,061 --> 01:32:43,664
Likes? Not loves?
1696
01:32:43,697 --> 01:32:45,099
Slow down, Mario Andretti.
1697
01:32:45,132 --> 01:32:48,002
Who carves "likes"
on a tree?
1698
01:32:48,035 --> 01:32:50,037
Check back with me
in a couple of months.
1699
01:32:55,943 --> 01:32:57,978
- So disgusting!
- Really?
1700
01:33:02,716 --> 01:33:04,318
So inappropriate.
1701
01:33:04,351 --> 01:33:06,287
All right, all right.
1702
01:33:07,188 --> 01:33:09,223
I think... Yeah.
1703
01:33:09,256 --> 01:33:11,926
I have one more trick
up my sleeve.
1704
01:33:12,893 --> 01:33:15,162
Abra-cadubra!
1705
01:33:17,064 --> 01:33:19,100
Come here, little rascal.
1706
01:33:21,669 --> 01:33:24,772
A puppy? For me?
1707
01:33:24,805 --> 01:33:27,074
Well, yeah, I don't think I
know the spell to send her back,
1708
01:33:27,108 --> 01:33:28,809
so I guess
you can keep her.
1709
01:33:28,843 --> 01:33:29,977
Really?
1710
01:33:30,010 --> 01:33:31,145
Can we call her Magic?
1711
01:33:31,178 --> 01:33:33,147
- No.
- Max?
1712
01:33:33,180 --> 01:33:34,381
Are you kidding me?
1713
01:33:35,349 --> 01:33:36,984
TIM: And you know what?
1714
01:33:37,017 --> 01:33:38,986
I'm not scared
anymore either.
1715
01:33:41,822 --> 01:33:44,024
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1716
01:33:51,832 --> 01:33:56,670
♪ Hand me down my walkin' cane
Hand me down my hat
1717
01:33:56,704 --> 01:34:01,308
♪ Hurry now and don't be late
'Cause we ain't got time To chat
1718
01:34:01,342 --> 01:34:06,213
♪ You and me we're goin' out
To catch the latest sounds
1719
01:34:06,247 --> 01:34:11,185
♪ Guaranteed to blow your mind
So high you won't come down
1720
01:34:11,218 --> 01:34:16,323
♪ Hey, y'all prepare yourself
For the Rubberband man
1721
01:34:16,357 --> 01:34:21,195
♪ You never heard a sound
Like the rubberband man
1722
01:34:21,228 --> 01:34:26,734
♪ You're bound to lose control
When the Rubberband Starts to jam
1723
01:34:29,436 --> 01:34:32,139
♪ Oh, Lord
This dude is outta sight
1724
01:34:32,173 --> 01:34:36,076
♪ Everything he does
Seems to come out right
1725
01:34:36,110 --> 01:34:40,948
♪ Once I went to hear them play
At a club outside of town
1726
01:34:40,981 --> 01:34:43,117
♪ I was so surprised
I was hypnotized
1727
01:34:43,150 --> 01:34:45,886
♪ By the sound
this cat's puttin' down
1728
01:34:45,920 --> 01:34:50,791
♪ When I saw this short fat guy
Stretch a band between his toes
1729
01:34:50,824 --> 01:34:53,194
♪ Hey, I laughed so hard
'Cause the man got down
1730
01:34:53,227 --> 01:34:56,063
♪ When he finally
Reached his goal
1731
01:34:56,096 --> 01:35:01,268
♪ Hey, y'all prepare yourself
For the Rubberband man
1732
01:35:01,302 --> 01:35:06,140
♪ You never heard a sound
Like the rubberband man
1733
01:35:06,173 --> 01:35:11,345
♪ You're bound to lose control
When the Rubberband Starts to jam
1734
01:35:11,378 --> 01:35:16,417
♪ Got that rubberband
Up on his toes
1735
01:35:16,450 --> 01:35:21,121
♪ And then he wriggled it up
All around his nose
1736
01:35:24,124 --> 01:35:26,327
♪ Guaranteed to blow your mind
1737
01:35:28,028 --> 01:35:29,964
♪ Playin' all that music
Yet keepin' time
1738
01:35:32,366 --> 01:35:36,503
♪ Where in the world
Did he learn that, oh, Lord
1739
01:35:36,538 --> 01:35:38,305
♪ Lord, help him get away
1740
01:35:38,339 --> 01:35:43,410
♪ Hey, y'all prepare yourself
For the Rubberband man
1741
01:35:43,444 --> 01:35:48,249
♪ You never heard a sound
Like the rubberband man
1742
01:35:48,282 --> 01:35:53,087
♪ You're bound to lose control
When the Rubberband Starts to jam
1743
01:36:00,595 --> 01:36:02,997
♪ Rubberband man
Rubberband man
1744
01:36:11,338 --> 01:36:14,341
♪ Just a movin', just a movin'
1745
01:36:14,375 --> 01:36:18,312
♪ Got a-groovin' On the
corner It's burning y'all
1746
01:36:20,548 --> 01:36:25,486
♪ Hey, y'all prepare yourself
For the Rubberband man
1747
01:36:25,520 --> 01:36:30,391
♪ You never heard a sound
Like the rubberband man
1748
01:36:30,424 --> 01:36:35,229
♪ You're bound to lose control
When the Rubberband Starts to jam
1749
01:36:38,432 --> 01:36:40,401
♪ That Rubberband man's a doozy
1750
01:36:42,236 --> 01:36:45,839
♪ Moves so quick
He makes me woozy
1751
01:36:45,873 --> 01:36:47,908
♪ And then he stopped
To show down
1752
01:36:47,941 --> 01:36:50,878
♪ He wiggle it up
He wiggle it down
1753
01:36:50,911 --> 01:36:55,316
♪ Got speed to move it
Get rubberband off the ground
1754
01:36:55,349 --> 01:36:58,952
♪ He lifted it well high
In the sky, y'all
1755
01:37:02,456 --> 01:37:07,428
♪ Hey, y'all prepare yourself
For the Rubberband man
1756
01:37:07,461 --> 01:37:12,299
♪ You never heard a sound
Like the rubberband man
1757
01:37:12,333 --> 01:37:17,171
♪ You're bound to lose control
When the Rubberband Starts to jam
1758
01:37:24,244 --> 01:37:27,481
♪ Rubberband man
1759
01:37:27,515 --> 01:37:30,618
♪ How much of this stuff
Do he think we can stand
1760
01:37:33,220 --> 01:37:37,157
♪ Movin' his shoulders Got
his head Movin' side to side
1761
01:37:38,693 --> 01:37:42,129
♪ Dig him crimpin'
1762
01:37:45,332 --> 01:37:47,101
♪ Rubberband man ♪
1763
01:37:47,134 --> 01:37:53,907
At Magic Motors,
we make high prices disappear.
1764
01:37:53,941 --> 01:37:57,177
GRISMER: Prices, Max. Prices!
1765
01:37:57,218 --> 01:37:58,992
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull